A.O. Scott Should Be Horse-Whipped
Along with any other critic who gave the dreadful film "Duplicity" anything other than a straight-out "See this if you can't fulfill your masochistic urges by getting somebody to pull out all your toenails with a rusty pliers."
Here's Scott's review, headlined "Effervescent Espionage With Two Irresistible Forces." Oh, hurl. (Which is what Clive Owen looked like he wanted to do when he was forced to spit out some of the movie's dreadful dialogue.)
I particularly love this quote: "However you describe it, "Duplicity" is superior entertainment, the most elegantly pleasurable movie of its kind to come around in a very long time." Maybe he saw the unreleased movie, where they cut out all the boring parts, which is most of the film.
Weirdly, the film, about two former secret agents who go into the business world to steal their way to funding their life together, has no sex (just the aftermath and a lingering Clive kiss on JR's back) and no violence. It was entirely bland, mildly funny in a few places, and one of the longest movies I've ever seen. And neither poor Gregg nor I can figure out why they kept going back to a particular piece of dialogue in flashback in various places around the world.
How bad was it? So bad it was completely puzzling how they got it in the theaters. MISS! MISS! MISS! MISS!
(Was that unclear?) Here -- once more so I'm sure you'll dodge this turkey bullet:
MISS! MISS! MISS! MISS!
It wasn't that bad. True it was as my father called it a "turn your brain off" movie but it is fun and it's not really meant to anything else.
Nicky at April 10, 2009 9:56 AM
Horse-whup him yourself, Ms. Alkon. I've got my own problems. I'm supposed to watch the Hannah Montana movie with my daughters.
You get the beeesssst of both worlds!!!
old rpm daddy at April 10, 2009 10:15 AM
I always recommend using RottenTomatoes.com to get the best sense of how good a movie is.
But at the same time, I rarely go out to the movies, especially walk-ins. I wait to come out on DVD and then rent or buy them. Face it, even buying at release about $20-$25 is still cheaper than tickets, popcorn, soda and lack of convenience. I can pause, rewind, change sound level, etc to my own favor.
Jim P. at April 10, 2009 10:20 AM
I used Rotten Tomatoes to check out the Hannah Montana movie. It looks like it's going to be about what I thought it would be, meaning not that much different from the TV series, which my youngest watches without fail.
I'm bracing myself.
old rpm daddy at April 10, 2009 10:29 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/04/10/ao_scott_should.html#comment-1642459">comment from Jim P.Actually, RT wasn't that helpful:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/duplicity_2009/
Did like this quote about "Duplicity" I found while googling RT review:
"Tony Gilroys xeroxed copy of Oceans 12 on a machine with no ink."
Amy Alkon at April 10, 2009 11:04 AM
I can't understand why The English Patient was so loved. Talk about boring. And Eyes Wide Shut: it says a lot that THAT much nudity couldn't rescue it from sheer shoot-me-now boredom. Those are the only 2 movies I've ever walked out on. (although Jarhead came close) Blah!
momof3 at April 10, 2009 11:21 AM
The English Patient is one of my 5 favorite films of all time. Eyes Wide Shut would be somewhere in the twenties or thirties... but then I've seeen Vanilla Sky about 100 times. (Yes, Abre Los Ojos was better, but I've only seen that maybe a dozen times.)
Two masterpieces almost nobody ever talks about are Heavens Gate and Once Upon a Time in America.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiNlthlz1d8
Eric at April 10, 2009 11:38 AM
I generally don't watch anything with Julia Roberts in it, period.
ahw at April 10, 2009 12:47 PM
Brilliant, Amy!
Even from the previews (to which I paid attention because I just "might" have been tempted), I could see a turkey flapping.
Specifically, they kept showing the bit when Owen mouths some sphincter-puckering line at Roberts - I think it was "you've gamed me!!??".
The implausible delivery, the line itself, Owen's pop-eyed expression when he said it...uuurgh.
(I'm also pissed off at Ebert for going nuts about "Synecdoche, New York". Agonizing twaddle which seemed to last about 17 hours.)
Jody Tresidder at April 10, 2009 4:02 PM
It boggles my mind that anyone could call Heavens Gate a masterpiece. It's such a mess, both as drama and anything coming close to historically resembling the Johnson County war.
I didn't watch "Duplicity" because it didn't remotely interest me with its trailers.
On another note, I would be interested in knowing, perhaps as another blog post, what Amy's favorite few films of all time are, and maybe what she thinks makes for a great movie.
Abersouth at April 10, 2009 4:11 PM
Most movies suck - they are either shitty knock offs of books, too booring, too loud, or just plain uninspired.
I cant think of a single horror movie that I ever found frightening,
Most sci fi reliys too heavily on CGI and special effect to tell a story
And charecter driven peices like this movie was supposed to be rely on names rather than a good story
The only movie I've truly enjoyed in the last few years was Frailty
lujlp at April 10, 2009 5:28 PM
RE: Heavens Gate
OK- fair enough based on your comment, Abersouth. Valid points. It was a mess, sort of. And the Roman seige scene was lame. But for me, It's like enjoying Cezanne while still intensely appreciating Rembrandt.
I can fall right into the time and scenery when I have 3 or 4 hours to kill. It's grand, sparce and epic all at once. Look at the cast! Kristofferson, Walken, Waterson, Bridges, and John Hurt's greatest performance. And I can watch a thousand times just for Isabelle Huppert.
PS-The music was fantastic. Does anyone know how I can easily rip the soundtrack off my DVD?
Eric at April 10, 2009 6:23 PM
Wow, thanks for the heads up, or down, I guess. Normally I'd sit through anything with Clive Owen but maybe I'll just go and rent Second Sight again.
Hereinashland at April 10, 2009 7:52 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/04/10/ao_scott_should.html#comment-1642516">comment from HereinashlandI felt the same way about Clive until I saw this movie.
Amy Alkon at April 10, 2009 8:04 PM
There are a lot of great movie comments here. You should do this topic more often.
Owen made Casino worth watching, despite all its faults. Not sure he's ever done that for a movie again.
Someone said of the last one (the shoot-up-the-Guggenheim movie): "It's like the costume designer dressed him as a guy who watches a lot of Clive Owen movies..." That's the best slam in a movie review so far this year.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at April 10, 2009 8:32 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/04/10/ao_scott_should.html#comment-1642519">comment from Crid [cridcridatgmail]Will try to do this more often. And that commenter about the shoot-up-the-Guggenheim movie was right on. The ending was completely stupid. And I was more pissed off while seeing it because I knew the director had to be completely smug about shooting in what was supposed to be the Guggenheim. Just give me a good story, and then shoot it, asshole.
Amy Alkon at April 10, 2009 9:39 PM
Just give me a good story, and then shoot it, asshole. Amy
Thats the reson I liked Battlestar so well, it didnt spend its time on showcaseing special effects or preaching morailty like ST did. It focused on the story and charecters
lujlp at April 11, 2009 6:35 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/04/10/ao_scott_should.html#comment-1642552">comment from lujlpI am so not a film snob when it comes to movies. I'll work with you and suspend disbelief a long, long way (my disbelief is pretty much made of lycra). I love caper movies like Oceans Eleven and action movies with a regular guy hero like Die Hard (the last one was a bit lame -- that 18-wheeler scene was especially silly). I also have a thing for Charlie Kaufman movies, although I haven't seen Synecdoche -- very stupidly named, since it's a word few people know. I know what it means, but it turns out I've been pronouncing it wrong for 30-some years, having only read it and never heard it used aloud! Sounds kind of like Schenectady, but with a bit of rearrangement.
Amy Alkon at April 11, 2009 6:55 AM
Gosford Park directed by Robert Altman. Fabulous movie. Even has Clive Owen, but he's not the star; nobody is, yet there are so many very good actors, like a typical Altman film. You can watch this one over and over and still find something new in it, it's complex and nuanced, not mindless drivel like what's usually shat out of Hollywood.
Juliana at April 11, 2009 8:12 AM
> I also have a thing for
> Charlie Kaufman movies
Eternal Sunshine excuses a multitude of sins... Not enough sins, but a multitude.
> Gosford Park directed by
> Robert Altman.
My mother likes that one. The clips I've seen are reminiscent of two other Hollywood classics, "Paint Drying", and the 1967's "Trucks Rusting."
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at April 11, 2009 10:04 AM
If you like Kaufman movies, you should check out JCVD. Fantastic début from a young French director.
Crid, isn't Eternal Sunshine a Michel Gondry flick?
liz at April 11, 2009 10:58 AM
Gondry co-wrote with Kaufman, then directed as well. I liked Adaptation more than ESOTSM, and Kaufman's Confession's of a Dangerous Mind is in my top 20. Being John Malkovich was great too- particularly when Malkovich touristed into his own mind, and everyone was Malkovich. Damn, I gotta see that again soon.
Eric at April 11, 2009 12:30 PM
>>Sounds kind of like Schenectady, but with a bit of rearrangement.
And it gives nothing away to confirm that the Schenectady/Synecdoche similarity is indeed one of the merry conceits of the movie.
(I was somewhat of a Kaufman fan before I saw this latest, but...)
Jody Tresidder at April 11, 2009 1:00 PM
Quick One-
Easy Rider. I'd seen the film about a dozen times, and never thought anything more of it. The I saw it again this winter, with about 5 feet of snow outside the window, and short dreary, relentless days unceasing, and I got it. I would put it up in the masterpiece category, not for any of the usual talented reasons, just because it was so genuine.
I remember my (much older) cousin Chris in the 70's had a huge poster of Fonda and Hopper on their bikes when I was growing up.
Eric at April 11, 2009 10:08 PM
At least it was only bland.
For a real poke-your-ears-out-dialogue movie, try Battlefield Earth.
If you can handle the 1960's Batman TV-show camera work, that is. Bang! Pow! Zoom! Tilt! Pan! Hurl!
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at April 12, 2009 8:07 AM
> (much older) cousin Chris in the
> 70's had a huge poster of Fonda
> and Hopper
In the 60's somewhat older Cousin Mike had the Raquel poster from the dinosaur movie. It was tacked on a sloping ceiling directly over his bed and aligned with the lengthwise dimension of the mattress.
---
One reason I like Eternal Sunshine so much is probably that it's depicted by a moderately attractive guy in his forties who's eagerly loved by one of the most appealing actresses of the next generation. And the other plotline has a sparky young receptionist in love the a shambling, middle-aged doctor, but somehow it's almost believable... Especially with the pissed-off resignation of his wife.
A younger lead actor would have been appropriate, but it's probably Carrey's enthusiasm that got the thing financed.
It's probably my favorite special effects film. I don't there's been a more complicated time-travel plot. Everything works: The lighting, the settings, the dialogue, the relationships, the music. You'd think it took thirty years to make. It gives a clear view of the ugliest parts of human nature.
It's in the top three movies of the decade; contenders to be named later.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at April 12, 2009 1:29 PM
PS- Adaptation bored me like Malkovich did. Kaufman is kind of like James L. Brooks: Out of nowhere, he writes these movies full of novel characters and unusual contexts to consider things that other movies don't cover... But a few hours after watching one, you realize there's a reason that no other movie's covered that territory; there's no universal or enduring meaning to the tales.
(ESOTSM excepted.)
OTOH, the next-to-last shot of Adaptation –the drive out of the parking garage, but just before the plot of flowers– was filmed in the building on Wilshire where I worked for ten years. Knowing that I'd be able to say that in a blog post one day almost rescued the film... But I still want at least half the ticket price back.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at April 12, 2009 6:25 PM
Crid,
I don't know if the Coen brothers do it for you - but Malkovich is not at all bad in "Burn After Reading" - and the rest of the cast are glorious. (That movie rather slunk out of the cinema without much attention - but I've just loved it a 2nd time via Netflix.)
Jody Tresidder at April 12, 2009 8:16 PM
> if the Coen brothers do it
They always seemed like pretty snotty guys. I remember when they won an Oscar about ten years ago, and they wandered up to the stage and spun aimlessly around as if to say "We don't really understand how these little moments work, though of course this trophy means a lot to other people..."
The favorite's probably Lebowski, because (for once, at last) the Coens didn't seem to be smirking at bumpkins with accents (as in Raising, Fargo, etc).
(Let the record reflect that during the Gulf War One era, I too was a pathetic, one-bedroom bachelor in Los Angeles.... Not quite as bad as protagonist Jeff The Dude, but the point is that if I didn't take that movie personally, it's fair to assume they weren't being meanspirited.)
Hudsucker's another favorite, just to see Leigh channel the midcentury Hollywood whippersnapper (K Hepburn et al) so brilliantly: She's playing ball above everybody else's head in that movie. In some of her scenes, other players are pathetically outperformed... I imagine the craft services girl accidentally giving them the news at the end of the shoot: "Did you enjoy your career as an actor? ('Cause this is how it ends, kiddo)..."
The Burn After Reading DVD got a scan with one thumb on the 4X button of the remote control, where you slow down every time something looks interesting. It was OK, for a 32 minute movie. The Pitt & Clooney scene was neatly handled. And I liked Juno's Dad.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at April 12, 2009 10:32 PM
Another favorite of recent years is Charlie Wilson's War. You really wouldn't expect Hollywood lefties (Hanks, Nichols and Sorkin) to present the story so even-handedly... And it was FUN, to boot.
If the Coens had made that movie, the Roberts character would have been a powerless, pathetic buffoon. (Texas accent!)
Don't forget the limo driver...
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at April 12, 2009 10:42 PM
>>If the Coens had made that movie, the Roberts character would have been a powerless, pathetic buffoon.
But she might have worn a less regrettable wig.
Jody Tresidder at April 13, 2009 5:39 AM
>>And I liked Juno's Dad.
Had to add - now that I've checked which one he was - that his turn was unimprovable in "Burn After Reading". A total pleasure!
Jody Tresidder at April 13, 2009 5:54 AM
> she might have worn a less
> regrettable wig.
Never noticed... Was watching how they painted out the wrinkles in Hank's neck.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at April 13, 2009 9:17 AM
"I'll work with you and suspend disbelief a long, long way "
Ditto, so I accept that Batman talks like the Cookie Monster when he's got his suit on, Brad Pitt is a moron, John Malkovich is a real ass-kicker, and killer robots travel through time.
I go into a movie theater and suddenly I'm 12 years old again. Hollywood, America's greatest manufacturer.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at April 14, 2009 9:42 AM
Two years later; Liz was right
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 3, 2011 2:22 PM
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