The Natural Look
Yeah, right, sure. The trick, when you're wearing makeup, as one female commenter here once noted, is to spend enough time carefully applying it that it looks like you really aren't wearing much -- or any. Over at Observations of a Nerd, Christie Wilcox blogs:
But, I hear my female readers saying, MY (boyfriend/husband/whoever) says that I look prettier without makeup! Well, it's true that when you poll men about their makeup preferences, as many as one in five says their significant other wears way too much makeup, while one in ten wishes that women didn't wear makeup at all. While that's certainly a nice sentiment, their actions speak louder than their words. Study after study has found that when shown pictures of women with and without their makeup, men consistently rate images with makeup as more attractive, confident, and healthier. Men also think women wearing makeup come off as more intelligent and having higher earning potentials and more prestigious jobs. I'm not saying wearing makeup is more likely to get you hit on at a bar... but Nicolas Guéguen is. He found women wearing makeup were approached sooner and by more men.When you look at the science, it's no wonder that more than $40 billion dollars a year is spent on cosmetics. Makeup works, and it does so because our bodies are programmed to perceive sexual signals from the coloration of our faces. Makeup tricks our brains just enough for it to be worth the time and effort if you want to look hotter. Of course, modern media and the way women are portrayed certainly helps boost sales. But makeup has been used for centuries in disparate and diverse cultures in strikingly similar ways for a reason. In the end, we are drawn to makeup is that it taps into our primal urge to find a young, healthy mate who will produce lots of kids so that we can pass on our genes.
I referred to some of Guéguen's work here.
I've heard men say that before. "I like when women wear no makeup!" Most likely you like the no makeup look. Which is why we do it: it's to make us look like the best version of ourselves. I have lots (and lots) of makeup, but I'm careful not to pile it on. I want people to notice me and not just what I'm using to enhance (though I am fond of colored eyeliner, but it does get people to look at my eyes without my going full-on smoky drama up there).
I once switched foundation after a woman I worked with complimented me on it. Not my skin, but the foundation I was using. I immediately went to Bare Escentuals and haven't looked back. Quick plug (that I am in no way getting kickbacks for): that is a great brand to use if you want to experiment with bolder color since everything goes on pretty sheer and blends nicely.
So, no matter what the überfeminists say I should or shouldn't do, I will continue to makeup to present myself to the world, because it's in my best interests to look good. And there are such great products out there that it doesn't take that much time or effort to be presentable: I spend no more than five minutes for daytime, and that's primer (face and eyes), concealer, foundation, blush, A Little Sun, Clear Radiance, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick/gloss, and, of course, Mineral Veil. Sounds like a lot, but it's easy-peasy.
NumberSix at November 5, 2010 12:39 AM
"Most likely you like the no makeup look."
Well, sure, that would be it.
Personally, I really dislike visible makeup at all - including mascara and eye-shadow. The women who artifically lengthen their eyelashes look like they lost a fight with a couple of spiders. Lipstick, same thing, and anyway, kissing waxy lipstick is gross. Lip gloss can be ok, if it's a natural color.
If a woman manages to use makeup in a way that enhances, without one even seeing the makeup, that's great - but very unusual. If the makeup is visible, it's truly better to do without.
Obviously, I'm just a random guy; my opinion is worth every penny you paid for it. I'm sure there are plenty of other opinions out there...
a_random_guy at November 5, 2010 5:47 AM
I think there may be a sexual component to the "I like them with no make-up" thing. Who wants to kiss a mouth covered in petroleum (lipstick)? It's better now with the all-day wear ones, but still. And foundation just tastes vile, as does perfume. One has to be careful where one applies these, if sex is in the picture.
Some judiciously applied deoderant-in ALL the areas we sweat-is a good thing presex though. A little at the junction of your thigh and groin, ladies, AND men! NO one wants a sniffer-full of stink when they go downtown. NO matter how recently you've showered-I mean, if you're doing it right, you're GOING to sweat during sex!
I've got my no-make-up look down pat. 2-in-1 powder foundation swished on with a good brush, mascara, lip stain, a sweep of eyeshadow with an eyeshadow brush. takes literally 2 minutes.
momof4 at November 5, 2010 5:48 AM
I work in Boulder, CO and there are many men here who prefer the true no-makeup look. They would rather that their partners be fit and dressed for the apres-work ski/run/climb. It helps that everyone looks and is damn healthy and slim. When a 10-mile run constitutes a "good warm-up," makeup just gets in the way.
(I do get complimented regularly on my more dressy attire, so this is not a universal preference.)
Astra at November 5, 2010 6:07 AM
The key with makeup is subtlety; if your look screams "MAKEUP!", you've overdone it. It should also be appropriate to whatever activity you're undertaking; for instance, I agree that if you're running a marathon or climbing rocks, false eyelashes and glittery makeup aren't appropriate. Nobody loved making up and dressing up more than my dear late mom, who modeled in her youth before moving on to careers in the Bronx Supreme Court and the Foundling Hospital division of St. Vincent's Hospital. Mom could rock any look with the greatest of ease. Still, as glamorous as she was, Mom always looked appropriate for whatever situation she was in, and I'm sure her breezy self-confidence helped in that regard, too. Mom always used to say to my sister and me, "Girls, the day you see me NOT bothering to put on makeup is the day you'll know I'm nearing the end." She was nothing if not prescient, bless her. I wanna be like her when I grow up! :-)
DorianTB at November 5, 2010 6:45 AM
Yes female beauty is important. I get that. But many American/westernized women have become obsessed/narcissistic about their looks.
It would be nice if they were nicer people and less obsessed about beauty.
David M. at November 5, 2010 6:50 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/11/05/the_natural_loo.html#comment-1777069">comment from David M.It would be nice if they were nicer people and less obsessed about beauty.
Being "less obsessed about beauty" will happen as soon as men are. Send us a note when that happens, and we'll try to be kinder and less concerned with grooming.
Of course, kindness was the top desired quality for both male and female partners in David Buss' 37-country study of human preferences, but men still prioritize looks in women and women prioritize provider status in men. A captain of industry or beauty queen who is cruel isn't a very good match.
Amy Alkon at November 5, 2010 6:56 AM
My husband is one of the ones who truly prefers NO makeup, not just the appearance of none. He hates--and I'm using the word hate full strength here--cosmetics. HATES. To the point where if he sees that I've applied more than my usual lipgloss will shake his head sadly, sigh, and say "why would you DO that?" This is fine by me. I have very strong features and have always had a great complexion, so have never needed to do much enhancing. And it's worth noting that it's very easy to look overdone if you have strong features to start with. I love that my man is happiest looking at my natural face, and he loves that I look as good on the morning as I did when we went to bed.
Also, momof4 makes an excellent point about the taste. Nasty stuff, most of it. And it rubs off on everything.
mse at November 5, 2010 7:07 AM
From an Irvin Block story about people in New Guinea vs. people in the US:
(Sabuk says) "And it's the women who wear colorful clothes in the United States. Most of the men wear dull clothes and no paint. I suppose the women use so much of the paint on their faces that there isn't enough left for the men. Frankly I was embarrassed. I tried to explain how unnatural their way of life was. But the Americans didn't understand."
lenona at November 5, 2010 7:11 AM
Amy,
yes men like beauty. But not like THIS.
Too many women today don't have a clue as to how to judiciously apply makeup. They look like clowns. And no man wants to sleep with a clown. You always wonder if you are going to get selzer to the face.
Beauty isn't about makeup. There are a lot of women who don't wear it, who are beautiful au naturale. My wife, for one. :)
Steve at November 5, 2010 7:19 AM
Women in New Guinea aren't without ornamentation or makeup -- quite the contrary:
http://www.google.com/images?client=safari&rls=en&q=women+new+guinea&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1605&bih=937
Amy Alkon at November 5, 2010 7:26 AM
Being "less obsessed about beauty" will happen as soon as men are. Send us a note when that happens, and we'll try to be kinder and less concerned with grooming.
----------------------------------
There is looking nice and their is obsessed. There is a difference.
I think more mature males know that women obsessed with their looks=High Maintenance=pain in the ass.
Most of my guy friends in our forties stay away from fake boobs, fake nails, too much make-up and women who basically are obsessed with their looks. Maybe we are different but any one who resmbles the real housewives of New Jersey, Atlanta, Washington D.C etc... We stay away from.
David M. at November 5, 2010 7:55 AM
>>Some judiciously applied deodorant-in ALL the areas we sweat-is a good thing presex though. A little at the junction of your thigh and groin, ladies, AND men! NO one wants a sniffer-full of stink when they go downtown. NO matter how recently you've showered-I mean, if you're doing it right, you're GOING to sweat during sex!
momof4,
I sincerely hope you were aiming for a parody of the worst sort of coy innuendo & odious sexual oneupmanship of a 1950s Intimate Marital Advice Manual with that comment! 'Cos otherwise, puke!
Jody Tresidder at November 5, 2010 7:56 AM
mse,
I would't be with a man who puts me down for wearing lip gloss. Maybe your man has many other wonderful qualities but that would be a deal-breaker for me as it smacks of control. My boyfriend tried to go that route just once and I told him that if he wants to be with a woman who isn't attractive to other men I could arrange that for him. He shut up.
I wear makeup (or not) depending on how I feel that day, where I'm going, or maybe I just want to play with makeup because I'm a girl and I can. It's never to get all painted up and get me a man, even when I'm single. And I think I speak for many, many women on that point.
For the record, my usual makeup is French style--Mascara (no, I don't look like I lost a fight with a couple of spiders...I think you notice those women in particular, random guy) maybe some eyeliner, cats eye or more of a smudgy 1920's look on the outer corners, and red lipstick. Maybe a little powder. And yeah, men look. And approach. And talk to me. Even in the food co-op where all the hippie men hang out. And if I want to be invisible that day to men? No freakin makeup. In summary, Men, you can say you hate makeup all you want but it's so, so, so, very not true.
MissFancy at November 5, 2010 11:07 AM
Puts me down??? Where did you get THAT idea? Please don't project the obvious confrontational negativity you bring to your own relationship (you can arrange it? You sure told HIM!) into my comment. My husband is many things, but a control freak is not one of them. The fact that he appreciates a makeup-free face and that I have no trouble accommodating him (I've never worn makeup, not even before I met him, unless it's for a special occasion) is not a bad thing, anymore than Amy wearing an appropriate amount that makes her feel her most attractive is bad. If I wanted to I'd paint my face an inch thick and he wouldn't stop me, but could I blame him for not finding it attractive when I know it's not what he likes? And since it's not what I like either, i fail to see how you think this equals him controlling me.
Jesus.
mse at November 5, 2010 11:46 AM
I have given tips to sooo many women that the end result is more positive male attention. Most women do not look good with a pound of makeup on but that is because their facial features do not lend themselves to it. You've really got to adjust makeup in accordance with your facial features. As far as skin....
I always get compliments on my skin thanks to wearing:
Chanel Vitalumiere or MAC face and body or Makeup Forever Face and Body.
It looks like I have perfect skin without the look of foundation. It's amazing and adds a glow to my skin. Even makeup artists dont realize I have foundation on but my skin looks amazing.
Ppen at November 5, 2010 12:21 PM
When I first wanted to wear make up, way back in 1973, my mother took me shopping and helped me pick out stuff that was flattering to me. She also gave me a rule of thumb: Make up is like ketchup (or castsup!), it's to enhance the overall flavor, not completely disguise the taste.
Nanc in Ashland at November 5, 2010 12:42 PM
In summary, Men, you can say you hate makeup all you want but it's so, so, so, very not true.
Pardon me when I steal a line from the feminists here:
NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT (NAMALT).
Wanna generalize some more Fancy? And maybe, work on the reading comprehension a bit more? She said, and I quote:
"if he sees that I've applied more than my usual lipgloss"
NOT that he put her down for wearing lip gloss. Sad, really.
Steve at November 5, 2010 1:03 PM
Oh, you look so pretty with grease and insects smeared on your face! Why I just want to kiss your cochineal beetle covered lips!
jerry at November 5, 2010 1:52 PM
Being "less obsessed about beauty" will happen as soon as men are. Send us a note when that happens, and we'll try to be kinder and less concerned with grooming.
----------------------------------
There is looking nice and their is obsessed. There is a difference.
David is right on here. The women who are obsessed with beauty generally don't know how to achieve it.
I'd really be throwing stones in a glass house if I went any further (I'm way too overweight due to not taking proper care of myself) but it seems to me that taking proper care of yourself, and learning to do highlights, rather than complete cover-ups, is the best plan.
WayneB at November 5, 2010 1:59 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/11/05/the_natural_loo.html#comment-1777396">comment from WayneBOne thing to realize that I think someone mentioned here or in another blog item is that as you get older you need to tone down your makeup or you start to look scary. Maybe not the case for every woman, but for many.
Amy Alkon at November 5, 2010 2:03 PM
"And yeah, men look. And approach. And talk to me. Even in the food co-op where all the hippie men hang out. And if I want to be invisible that day to men? No freakin makeup."
Invisible without makeup? Really? Unless your makeup is covering up something truly hideous, there is likely something else going on here that contributes to this disproportionate visibility gap between makeup and nonmakeup days. Maybe the outfits you wear on non-makeup days are, on average, very different from the outfits on makeup days, your hairstyle is different or your demeanor is different, subconsciously even.
I used to wear makeup pretty regularly, although just mascara and lip gloss. I don't wear any anymore, but I still usually wear fitted or tight clothes and have the same figure, hair and skin as before. I haven't noticed a decline in my visibility to men, much less total invisibility.
Au Naturel at November 5, 2010 2:07 PM
mse, from your first post: To the point where if he sees that I've applied more than my usual lipgloss will shake his head sadly, sigh, and say "why would you DO that?"
I cringed a little when I read that, too. Now, maybe you didn't mean it the way it sounded, but I would get offended if my man shook his head sadly, sighed and said "Why would you DO that?" when I put on eyeliner. It's fine that that's his preference and you don't mind it and embrace it. More power to you for wanting to look attractive for him, whatever that may entail. It's just that, if this is actually true, there are more polite ways to express that you don't like your woman wearing makeup. I know Amy has said that women should say something like "I think you look so sexy in this shirt" if they want their guys to change their wardrobes a little. I think the same applies to men who prefer a different look.
On the mascara front, I agree with MissFancy that if you do it right, you don't look like you've taped spiders to your eyes. Steve is right in that there are women who wear makeup who don't know (or don't care) how to correctly apply it. As I said earlier, I put several things on my face, but you wouldn't be able to tell that I'm wearing blush, a bit of suntan color (not bronzer, but enough to give me a really, really subtle glow since I'm very pale and don't want the powdered Victorian look) and a finishing powder (Mineral Veil is awesome). I just look healthy and good. There are a few young women in some of my classes this semester that I want to scrub down and start fresh on their faces because they just scream MAKEUP!! If you choose to wear it, that's not the way to do it for everyday.
I guess the moral of the story is that you don't want to look like you're trying hard, because that can be a serious turn-off for guys.
NumberSix at November 5, 2010 2:08 PM
I don't wear much makeup because I've never been good at applying it well. I don't wear it at all on most days, although I've recently started using moisturizer. I'm amazed by women who can work the under-the-eye eyeliner without looking like raccoons.
My husband said awhile back: "If she needs two hours in the bathroom to be acceptable, maybe you just don't find her that attractive."
But I can't imagine what someone could do with makeup in two hours, anyway, unless it involves the words, "Why so serious?"
MonicaP at November 5, 2010 2:19 PM
Eh, I guess I can see how, out of context, that would seem...but really, it's not an issue in that sense. He just appreciates a natural look and doesn't get why women go overboard on makeup and cover what he sees as natural beauty. He just doesn't get it...and the women in his family are makeup queens, in many cases because they have self esteem issues...but whatever. Rest assured, there's no animosity inherent in his remarks. :)
mse at November 5, 2010 2:36 PM
"If she needs two hours in the bathroom to be acceptable, maybe you just don't find her that attractive."
Gawd, I remember a girl I dated long ago. We went to the gym together. After the gym session, I went to the locker room, showered, changed, came out. And waited. And waited. She came out forty five minutes later. The second time, I brought a book. There was no third time...
a_random_guy at November 5, 2010 2:36 PM
In line w/ #6's comment, there are some guys who don't like make-up, not because they prefer a more 'natural' look, but because they have some moral objection to it. They think that you're being deceptive or lude or something. I'd watch out for this type, because they tend to be control freaks.
ela at November 5, 2010 3:14 PM
That's actually what I figured, mse. My first thought was "That's horrible!" The second was "Eh, it's probably not like it sounds in print."
I'm amazed by women who can work the under-the-eye eyeliner without looking like raccoons.
Took me forever to figure it out. From the age of sixteen to about twenty-three I practiced to no avail. I think in this case the tools make a huge difference. I have more luck with powder eyeliners (shadows can make great liners, too). I know I'm starting to sound like a Bare Escentuals pimp, but their liner/shadows are great. A liner brush with slanted bristles or a bent liner brush like this one are aces for applying. Use a little of BE's Weather Everything or Benefit's SheLaq with the powder for precision and sealing and you're good to go. More forgiving than liquid liner, not fussy-looking and it ain't migrating downward into the raccoon zone.
I have been known to spend two hours in the bathroom, but only when I'm taking a looooong bubble bath at the end of the day. Not when someone is waiting for me. Seriously, what could you possibly be doing that takes so long to get ready for a date? There are some women that do that as a form of control, like one of my great aunts who would start showering when it was time to be somewhere. Some people just like to make others wait on them. I bet those people get left a lot.
NumberSix at November 5, 2010 3:30 PM
My S.O. is another that prefers the natural look and not just the "made-up to look natural." The only thing I wear is lip gloss on occasion. My mom never let me wear make-up as a teen so I just got used to not wearing it. Now that I'm older I just don't see the need for it. I get many compliments on my natural beauty and have only had one bf ever tell me that I looked better with it on. I think it just comes down to personal preference. There are many women I've worked with who I thought looked better without. JMO
LL at November 5, 2010 5:09 PM
" the outfits you wear on non-makeup days are, on average, very different from the outfits on makeup days, your hairstyle is different or your demeanor is different, subconsciously even."
Naw it's the makeup. See I've been in the makeup biz on and off to know what the deal is, and I've been working around men long enough to know what the deal is with them too. If you are a natural beauty like my mom you will never need makeup. But how many women never had a pimple in their life? (My mom has not) How many 50 year old women have no wrinkes? (My mom does not) All women need to learn to do is wear the appropriate makeup for their features and their age. There are tons of products to produce a clear canvas look without looking like makeup, most women look good in that. I really encourage women to wear makeup.
And LL the "made up natural look" vs the real natural look their is a foundation called Face and Body produced by MAC or Makeup Forever. No one, not even your hubby will be able to tell you are wearing anything (it's mostly water) but it makes your skin look perfect.
Ppen at November 5, 2010 5:25 PM
It's not a looks thing for me. Yes, you look better with makeup. But going without makeup seems more...honest. Trustworthy.
Invisible without makeup? Really?
However, if you're not wearing makeup, I'm going to assume you're not interested in men. You may be feminine enough to overcome that, most women aren't.
ErikZ at November 5, 2010 6:29 PM
That's an interesting point about honesty, ErikZ. I think there is a line between liking or preferring to wear makeup because it makes you look better and those women who get up an hour early to apply because they don't want their men to catch even a glimpse of them with nothing on their faces. It's like many of the things we talk about on this site. It's fine to like it and want it, but needing to do it can go over the line. And there are women who need to do things in order to look a certain way, and it makes me sad for them. I'm thinking of the Heidi Montags of the world that need to overhaul their looks for reasons they claim are external, but we know better.
Even makeup can be pathological depending on the motivations.
NumberSix at November 5, 2010 8:26 PM
Does lipstick count as makeup?
As far as the rest goes, I'm the last person to know much about it. I do know that a little beats a lot, that part of the secret to it is looking like you're not wearing any...but otherwise I'm not what you'd call particular.
If it looks gaudy as a clown or a mime, no thanks, but if I understand it right, it is meant to generally accentuate the finer qualities of the face, and maybe conceal obvious shortcomings. If this is successfully done, I doubt any man would call it a problem.
Robert at November 5, 2010 11:19 PM
For a while, my daughter used to enjoy the show on TLC called "What Not To Wear". For those who haven't seen it, it's a show where people secretly nominate a frumpy friend who needs some help in the appearance department.
They go through the person's wardrobe, mock it and make them throw it out and then give them $5000 to buy new cloths (but with the help and guidance of the fashion expert hosts, shoes, give them a professional makeover and a haircut.
The lesson that you take away from every show is that any body shape and face can be significantly improved with the right types of clothes and some attention to details with some makeup and hair.
Just about every frump becomes a bit of a head turner by the end of the show.
Mark at November 6, 2010 8:53 AM
*****Ionce switched foundation after a woman I worked with complimented me on it. Not my skin, but the foundation I was using. I immediately went to Bare Escentuals and haven't looked back. Quick plug (that I am in no way getting kickbacks for): that is a great brand to use if you want to experiment with bolder color since everything goes on pretty sheer and blends nicely. *****
I loved Bare Escentuals, but there's an ingredient in there (bismuth oxide, I think) that some people are allergic to. I know after about a month I had HORRIBLE breakouts and had to quit using it.
I found Lush Erth, which is basically the same thing without the offending ingredient. The mineral foundation is so much nicer looking and feeling than traditional foundation, IMHO.
Ann at November 6, 2010 11:33 AM
Yikes, Ann! I'm so glad I'm not allergic, because I love my BE. I'm glad to hear of another quality mineral makeup, though, because there are a lot of posers. I tried on Mary Kay's "mineral makeup" and you could actually see it on my face. The good mineral makeup brands don't have that problem. I've heard the CEO of BE say you could apply Mineral Veil all day and you still wouldn't be able to see it, and I think it's true. In the summer, I apply several times a day to control shine and I never look powdery.
Quick tip for anyone who'd like it: a makeup primer will make any foundation go on smoother and you will use much less of it, which will be much more natural looking.
NumberSix at November 6, 2010 1:00 PM
Honestly I think some people need makeup, some people don't, period. I use makeup to correct my imperfections: mascara to darken my blonde eyelashes, light foundation/bronzer/blush to even my skin tone, and eyeshadow to make my eyes look bigger. But I have several dark-lashed, big-eyed, clear-skinned friends that just don't need make up. Wearing makeup doesn't make them look any better so would just be a waste of time and money.
I do hate when women act as though they are superior and less shallow for not wearing makeup, when in reality they're just lucky enough not to need it. Like naturally skinny people who can't understand why anyone would want to watch what they eat or go to the gym.
Good rule of thumb=if a guy can tell you're wearing make-up, you're probably wearing too much!
Shannon at November 6, 2010 1:56 PM
Women who wear makeup seem like they care what people think. Women who don't, seem like they don't.
ken at November 6, 2010 2:04 PM
"Women who don't, seem like they don't."
Women,of course should care to a certain extent what other people think.
It's like not taking a shower for weeks, being stinky AND not caring what people think.
Women should look their best, no I'm not talking about plastic surgery or spending hours in front of the mirror. What other people think matters.
Ppen at November 6, 2010 3:43 PM
>> Honestly I think some people need makeup, some people don't, period.
My younger sister is like that. She naturally looks a little made-up. You'd assume that she's wearing something, but it's just her normal coloration.
But I don't think that she's catty about it. She's always been very pretty and doesn't seem to be too competitive with other women concerning her looks.
nick at November 6, 2010 5:11 PM
I like a little makeup on women, but not all women. Some women look better without it. In particular, women with a certain kind of coloration and thin-ish lips look strange with lipstick on.
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