Hmmm. Not really sure why he felt the need to make a video that proves lifts work, but okay they do. I think in the before and after picture he does look more confident and thus happier. If it works for him, he should go for it. It doesn't seem to bother the woman either.

I will say this though, just like the Spanx, so to do the shoes come off and then you aren't fooling anyone. So, just be prepared for a "reaction" when your natural state is revealed.

For a true comparison, he should be wearing the same thing in both pictures. Does he look to anyone else like he might tip over in the second picture?

Are we demanding the same standard for all?

No, we're not demanding the same standard for all, nor should we be. Men and women are different, particularly in terms of how they interact sexually.

(I don't hate the lifts here; they just look like nice shoes to me. I think it would bother me to have a fussy man, who was fussy about lifts and whining about his height and things like that. Just showing up with shoes that happen to make you a bit taller, without being obvious about it, would probably not even get my attention.)

Of course he looks more "confident" in the second picture - he's dressed to the nines compared with the frump outfit in the "before" pic.

As they say, the clothes make the man.

Women get breast implants and wear makeup and Spanx.

I hate implants with a mad passion. And I see products like Spanx or the WonderBra as being "false advertising".

At some point, someone is going to see the real you - warts, wrinkles and all. And if you do get implants, get a really good surgeon. Seriously: nothing worse than a bad boob job, unless you also happen to scar easily.

Besides, I was under the impression that women dress to impress other women. Is that wrong?

Put that man in the suit instead of a hoodie in the first picture, and he'd look great. Short guys often have something to prove. Pair that with go-getter clothes, and you have someone who comes across as a real dynamo. Then again, that may not be the impression he wants to give, but I've known several people who've used that effectively. Great salespeople, energetic leaders. And if you're competing against them, watch out.

The before and after picture remind me of those bad infomercials where they blatantly change the way the model is posed/dressed so the after picture makes them look significantly better - sometimes going so far as to give the models better hair or a tan. Look at the difference in the two pics!

In the first he's wearing boring clothing, is slouching (check out the shoulders), and his arm is around the woman in a position of equality.

In the second picture he's wearing a power suit, has his shoulders back and, most importantly, he's not touching her anymore. She hasn't moved (arm still around him), but his hands are in front of him and he's not touching her. It looks like a dominant male position - she's leaning into him but he's not dependent on her at all.

I'm not saying the shoes don't work, I'm sure they do, but I am saying that putting them on won't automatically give you a suit, straight shoulders and cocky attitude with women.

Personally, I like having a guy closer to my height, the tallest I ever dated was 5'11" and the shortest was 5'5". I'm 5'3" and currently seeing a man who is 5'10", so he's one of the tallest guys I've dated. Not to get all TMI on you, but it makes it easier in the bedroom sometimes to have someone your own height...there's more of a range of possibilities when they don't tower over you.

I wouldn't care if the guy I was seeing wanted to wear shoes like this (I wear heels fairly often, who am I to judge?), but I also wouldn't care if he decided not to.

This is such a fascinating topic! I wear makeup, push-up bras, I dye my hair, etc., but I would really rather be with a short guy who is confident than a short guy who isn't. Which is kind of hypocritical, I suppose, but that's my opinion. Dating someone who constantly looks to you for validation, whether it's about their height or weight or job or whatever, is really exhausting!

My dearly beloved has put on some weight since we started dating (probably about 30 pounds) and I really don't care that he's heavier. I would have a problem if he constantly complained about getting heavier or kept asking me if it bothered me. You can't really do much about your height, aside from the lifts, so you may as well make peace with it, otherwise it'll become the crutch you blame everything on (I didn't get that job because I'm short, I didn't get that girl because I'm short, blah blah).

Also, maybe Amy could posit some other dating questions here. I'm dying to know how people feel about post-date follow up...is texting acceptable now?

Those shoes aren't bad at all. When you initially said lifts I was envisioning a la Stevie Nicks style.

Nobody personally has demanded I wear a bra or put make up on, but I know that the reality is if I walk around bra-less with no make-up and raggy hair, people will think I'm a bag lady. Also, I look more put together and presentable. I don't think lifts are the same thing.

I'm only trying to enhance what I already have, not give the perception that I'm something different. You can wear Spanx, but they won't take off 50 pounds or 10 inches. It only controls the jiggle or muffin top so much.

But then again, there are people who have issues with height. I'm not one of them. I'd rather a short man who is comfortable with who he is and treats me well than a short man who thinks lifts are going to compensate for some personality flaw.

Did anyone else see that picture of Shaq and the girl who was two feet shorter than him in the Daily Mail a few days ago?

Now there is a real problem. I'm a foot taller than Mrs D, and some things are a trifle inconvenient. Take your minds out of the gutter - you are correct - but I'm referring to having to get into her car and move it when the seat is six inches from the steering wheel. Revenge for leaving the toilet seat up? Possibly.

My knees ache, but she's worth it.

This guy comes up to me, obviously very upset. I ask him what's wrong and he says, "My wife likes to talk during sex!" I said, "So?" And he said, "Last night, she called me from Philadelphia!"

LOL, Patrick!! Are you channeling Rodney Dangerfield???

Since this is about the height difference and not about whether a suit makes you more attractive, I made this kind of crappy photoshop job:

http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k35/laeliajs/comparison.jpg

I will agree that overall the height helped a little, but not nearly as much as the other factors.

I've worn lifts in my shoes for years. I never advertised it and women I dated never noticed. I halfway think Mrs. Snake still doesn't know.

Its also a business thing - sometimes you gotta look the part to command attention, or at the very least not get ignored. Its kind of silly (along the same lines as dealing with those guys with the bone-crunching handshakes), but its all part of the arena.

Amy, FWIW, I would totally read these: "questions from women who are dating convicts, etc"

I agree with the lack of confidence comments concerning wearing lifts. My guy and I are both 5'5". I knew him for about a year before we started dating and I never realized until our first or second date that he was actually short. He just carries himself well and doesn't lack anything in the confidence area.

Now that the guy in the picture is taller, he can do better than that dumpy woman.

"Also, maybe Amy could posit some other dating questions here. I'm dying to know how people feel about post-date follow up...is texting acceptable now?"

Uhh I didn't even know this was an issue. People in my age group find this to be the norm. I'm in my late 20's by the way.

Early fifties, did an email last month, worked OK

Amy, re your remark about presidents: We've had 6 presidents below 5'8", 3 of them below 5'7". James Madison was tiny, even by the standards of his day, at 5'4".

"My knees ache, but she's worth it."

Thought this was sweet. I'd like to put it on a T-shirt, reversing the genders. Oh, wait....

Texting or e-mail is fine for just about anything now. The wedding planner told me I could text or e-mail my "thank you" cards, but that just felt wrong, so I wrote them all out by hand.

@Flynne

(straightening tie) None, I tell yas!

Sarah, thanks - very helpful.

Women get breast implants and wear makeup and Spanx. Are we demanding the same standard for all?

Well, I'm not demanding anything.

I don't typically like implants, don't like the very idea of "Spanx", and am mostly ambivalent about makeup.

So to the extent that I have a standard, it's "just be decently groomed and bathe", and that's what I want from everyone.

That women think they should get surgically-implanted racks and wear ass-pads is not a demand on anyone else's part.

(Well, okay, not typically - and if it is, it seems to be a Specific Person's Demand On A Specific Person, not a demand on all women.

The discussion about how reasonable that is is separate.)

(I'll also second that the suit did more for him than the height, and that confidence is more important.

If some people can't be confident without lifts or a padded bra or whatnot, well... I don't care about it. I'm not going to tear them down for it, though I do think it's better to be confident without aids if you can manage it.)

Greg Gutfeld doesn't seem to be goind too poorly. But then again, he seems to project manliness, in spite of his height.

goind = doing. Sheesh!

"Isn't a bra alone false advertising?"

My wife says it's more like a bearing wall...

Texans always wear lifts--they are called "cowboy boots." And no one calls those Texans a bunch of sissy-losers.

And don't tell me--I had to wear such boots for years at trade shows. I picked up a good 2-3 inches. My dick seemed to get longer too.

"Isn't a bra alone false advertising?"

Probably not in your case. And when does it become a safety feature?

I wear cowboy boots with two inch heels as a matter of daily wear. I'm about 5'10" -- 5'11" already. It's my personal style. I also wear the hat.

I now realize that I've missed more than one opportunity, just because of my personal style.

Way back when -- while I was still only friends and boarder with my eventual lady -- she was dating a postman who was about 5'5" to her 5'8". We threw a barbecue just for the hell of it on a mid-summer Saturday. He was a nice guy, and I liked him. During the barbecue I was doing stuff in the kitchen when they came in to grab a beer out of the fridge. We stood around and chatted for a few. Somewhere in the chatting he lost his confidence. He broke up with her about three days later. She commented some time later, that he probably felt intimidated by us.

One of the big things she liked in him was his self-confidence.

Didn't follow the links, didn't watch the vid, and mostly stayed out of this.

Spanx is underwear, right? Does anyone seriously believe that stuff can reel in a loving heart?

The woman in the picture is really cute, however tall the guy is.

People want what they want, y'know? You shouldn't argue with them about it. Tall, big tits, broad shoulders, darker, younger, whatever.

If you can OVERWHELM them, and make them forget their goofy little 'preferences', then fine... Do it.

But don't quibble. Don't dicker with them like it's a farmer's market and they should buy your beets when they're shopping for 'taters. And don't dicker with yourself— If romance ain't happening for you, it ain't height or tits that's your problem.

The Loveline guys used to talk about this to teenagers... How pathetic it is when a guy demands that a girl explain why he's "just a friend" to her, and how useless it is for her to try to explain or coddle his feelings.

People want what they want.

In the second picture he is not only taller, he is dressed in a nice suit. It would be better science if he was dressed exactly the same for both pictures...to eliminate other factors in perception.

It's not up to us to "demand" that short men wear lifts. It's up to the short man. Just like breast implants. Not EVERY woman has them...but some women want them. So - if a guy is bothered by his height then he can get lifts. It may open some doors and close others.

... in Sarah's composite image the lifts make more of a visual difference in the hoodie than in the suit.

This may be because the suit already has a strong v shaped neckline, and squared off shoulders. It seems there is less difference between short and tall with the suit.

When I read Amy's first post on the subject I was against lifts because I thought they would look ridiculous but seeing the picture here they look perfectly fine and you really can't tell he's wearing them. If I was dating a guy who was only a couple inches taller than me I wouldn't mind him wearing them on occasions where I'd be wearing heels; that way we could keep the same height difference and he'd still be taller than me in pictures.

I think what's key is the height of the lift though. A 2.5 inch change in height when the shoes come off isn't that noticeable, especially since most shoes make you a little taller anyway, especially women's shoes. Plus it's hard to estimate someone's height within 2 inches anyway. Whereas if you're wearing 4-5 inch lifts then expect some surprise and raised eyebrows when they come off. It's like the difference between wearing a pushup bra and heavily stuffing your bra. One is enhancing your assets, the other is blatant false advertising.

I'm 5ft 2in...so I don't think lifts are going to make much of a difference.

Years of experience has shown that 95% of women in their twenties will not want a romantic attachment with someone smaller than them. This percentage decreases with age, as women either become more mature, or desperate...

I've had a number of online relationships immediately cancelled when the woman found out my height. I've had dozens of co-worker/friend relationships where I was the first choice for any sort of emotional support/connection...but nary a romantic flirtation out of any of them.

The younger the woman, the more she sees men as an accessory. She isn't looking to connect with you for you...she's looking to complement herself. Like handbags or shoes, she's really looking to impress her friends. What's most important is what her choice in you, says to others about herself. Woman are cliquish and incredibly socially conforming. Even if one starts a relationship, any romantic relationship will most likely be broken up by her clique.

Either directly by, "What? He's shorter than you."

Or, the more inverted, "I think it's great that you don't let the size difference get in the way."

To the more subtle, "oh...did you see actor & actress are dating? He's sooo much shorter than her........not that there's anything wrong with that!"

Cultural re-enforcement accomplished.

I also don't buy the pseudo-evolutionary, non-control group, non-repeatable theories either.

In isolation woman are different. By themselves...it's about 40% of woman who won't consider a shorter man. I'll give you my classic example.

I had a relationship with a woman who was the sexual initiator/aggressor in the relationship (a fun and refreshing change); however, in public she subtly disuaded any hand-holding, chair holding, or arm hugging. Which I eventually realized was her trying to have the right "look" in which our dates were...just co-workers...or brother & sister...or platonic friends. This realization brought a new perspective in which a whole host of seamingly meaningless minutea across a multitude of relationships...suddenly fit a pattern.

Now, this doesn't mean that short guys are always destined to get the short straw. Now that you know what's up. You CAN score the prom-queen and popular girl. You just have to engage and develop in isolation. I call these Friends with Private Benefits relationships. You see women WILL hook-up with a shorter guy...as long as she doesn't have to worry about her "look." Knowing the landscape...makes all the difference.

These relationships are all fun and such, but you can't really live on cotton-candy. There are truely independent women out there...ones who don't confirm their esteem through their friends. It may just take a bit to find them. Oh, it's not the goth-girl, the biker-chick, the tree hugging artist...they're just pop songs in a different genre. I can't give you the archtype...because...well...the really self-made, confident, independent ones...don't have a common attribute. But when you find your Queen of Sheba, she'll make you feel like you're King of the World.

Happily married for over 10 years...

Ha, ha, that box said fairy.

"I'm not saying the shoes don't work, I'm sure they do, but I am saying that putting them on won't automatically give you a suit, straight shoulders and cocky attitude with women"

Yes, but it's easier to be more confident, when people responding to you more positively and ignoring you less simply because you're slightly taller.

"Here's a question for you all. Say that you have a height that's kind of a cut-off height for you, that you like a guy to be a little taller than you. If he could be taller with, say, 2.4 inch heel lifts, like the guy is wearing, would that make him feel more attractive when standing next to you, or bridge the gap between dealbreakingly short and doable?"

I think if you asked women, they'd be more inclined to say no. But if they actually met a guy 'lifted' 2.4 inches taller, I bet most would automatically respond more positively to him (even if not necessarily attracted to him).

What's the main difference between elevator shoes and shoe lifts, something like http://www.liftheightinsoles.com?

Nice little writeup written by non short men and women. I get tall guys not wanting more competition I get women not wanting to be fooled by heels hidden in the shoe. I've been short my whole life not Danny Devito short but short. 5"7 3/4 abd to us short guys the three quarters is like as important as age was when you were 8 lol. Well when your closing 50 that means shrinking takes place I have noticed a half inch went somewhere. Just why is it so important my 1.33 inches in lifts and 1 inch heel needs to be revealed to woman. Does as some women state their boobs or gut need to be shown to me? Isnt the real game to make Rosanne Barr turn into Kim Kardashian? Of course its a game and im not saying it bothers me truth is I like them thick. But whats the big deal a little competition suddenly these Shaq want to be are bothered by my measly 5 10 appearance? The bra stuffers are suddenly Dear Abby wanting to tell me most of us have no problem but we are dating 5'11 guys now. I got the body of a tall guys just no legs lol. So I tack on 2 when I go out big deal given my twig legs nobody knows why because like all lies and I admit its a lie the key is making it believable. 2.5 or above isnt beleivable. 1.33 and a 1 inch heel is. Someone said how you going to feel when they find out tell me just how do they find out when their taking their clothes off? Yes so their not goingv to bed with me because I cheated a measly 1.33 inches? Guys and ladies no especially when they realize im taller below the waist and got a wonderful tongue. Also as the jockey in secretariat said, he looks taller when hes standing on his wallet.

Honesty to a certain level among women. They do the studies where women can state how they feel without people not knowing who they,guess their answers, honest. Give us the taller guy.Some women here say yes I do all the following spandex, pushup bras and makeup but their forced by society standards. Then when it comes to men they state he's not forced too WRONG ANSWER be short in the dating and business world and see the results. Short men's prospects are much worse no matter how many confidence comments are blogged here. Short men aren't wearing lifts because they want to wear lifts but to adjust to the reality of real world surveys that actually answer the questions honestly. Be it male baldness, breast augmentation or shoe lifts people are making decisions based on results. Basically comments here are suggesting we can make adjustments as we please but you on the other hand must play with the hand dealt. I wear lifts and 99.999 % of people haven't the slightest clue I do wear them why? Because I don't overplay the lifts. By the way 99.999% of people never ever will see you outside of the shoes ever by it bosses or women. I've lived life 5'8" and 5'10" and yes I know it and I don't run around telling the world and yes some are aware of it. I also want to add 99.999% who do have an issue are men 1/2 to 2 inches taller and women the same, in short the people effected. Not once have I ever brought it up and also I severely doubt some girl just about to head into the sack is going to say your shorter I'm leaving. Please Dr. Phil want-to-be's stop handing me the be yourself crap, confidence BS I've met 100's of women with that load of crap and its all the same if he's this and if he's that and confidence and dress blah blah blah. All BS every human on earth strives to get the best job and the best girl. As my old coach use to say "If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'"