Tonight On Advice Goddess Radio: Therapist Beverly Engel On Pleasers
She's the author of the terrific book The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself
Beverly Engel, in her terrific book "The Nice Girl Syndrome," cautions that the motive for being "nice" in the face of cruel treatment is often guilt, shame, fear of confrontation, fear of rejection, and an intense fear of being alone.Being so compliant is pretty counterproductive because men are into the thrill of the chase, not the thrill of a woman who's on them like a tick on a dog no matter what they do. To be treated with respect, you need to be the disappearing one; disappear from the dating scene until you develop the self-respect to express your needs like you have a right to have them. You'll be ready to date when you require only one person in your life to feel whole -- and it isn't some guy who does with your dignity what other people do with Quilted Northern.
She'll be on my radio show on Sunday night, 7 p.m. Pacific time, 10 p.m. Eastern, for an hour, and WE NEED YOUR CALLS!
Listen live at this link (or use it to download the podcast afterward -- click "play in your default player" to download to your iPod, etc.):
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2011/11/28/advice-goddess-radio-amy-alkon
The show has also been accepted on iTunes, so you can subscribe there. Just search "Amy Alkon." Or go every week to:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon
Call in Sunday night, 7-8 p.m. Pacific, 10-11 p.m. Eastern for advice on love, dating, sex, relationships or to talk with Scott and me about the subjects we're discussing.
Call-in number once the show is on and live (at 7 p.m.): (347) 326-9761 (New York area code).
Oh, and the show opening is finally finished -- and it's fab. It's by Xenia Shin of the underground L.A. band Laco$te.
Another good show.
The big thing everyone has to learn is that no one can make you do anything except die. If you give into the emotional black mail you need to look at yourself as well as your partner.
Jim P. at November 27, 2011 8:30 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2011/11/27/tonight_on_advi_1.html#comment-2810439">comment from Jim P.Thank you - love doing these!
Amy Alkon
at November 27, 2011 9:04 PM
That description of the Nice Girl sounds a lot like one of the varieties of Southern Lady that Florence King wrote about in a book years back, Southern Ladies and Gentlemen. If you've never read it, I think you'd love it.
Firehand at November 28, 2011 11:46 AM
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