Announcing "The New Feminism": The Last Thing Some Women Want Is For You To Treat Them As Men's Equals
I saw a suggested person to follow on Twitter. I hadn't heard of her before, but thought she looked pretty in a very "sunny" and friendly way, so I looked her up.
Her name is Priya Shetty, and she's written another hand-wringing piece about the supposed "sexual harassment" Bora engaged in.
Sexual harassment's new meaning: Whatever women decide makes them uncomfortable.
(My take on the injustice that's been done to Bora here -- "About The Bora Controversy: If There's Anything That Makes Women Unequal To Men, It's The Need To Be Treated Like Fragile Pieces Of China.")
What Shetty should really be hand-wringing about is the fact that the Huffington Post doesn't pay for her work.
Of course, I solved the HuffPo no-pay problem early on, when Arianna herself -- of the gazillion square foot mansion and gamillions of dollars -- asked me to join those who write for her for free. We were at a party in the early evening at the house of an LA-based political analyst.
Arianna: Why don't you write for me, dahlink?
Me: Thanks, but I only write for pay.
Wow, huh? Problem solved!
See how easy it is to communicate when you, you know, do the adult thing and use your words? Right there in the moment.
And by the way, Arianna is a fuckload more powerful than Bora Zivkovic. Somehow, I managed to not sell out right then and there despite her power and influence being dangled before me. Amazing, huh?
I also said no when she asked to wear my purple earrings!! -- the earrings that I was wearing at the time -- to the Grammy's later that night. Yes, she wanted to take them right off my body. Because they went so well with the purple flowers in her purple and white dress.
No, Arianna. No.
Practice it, ladies! Here: "No! No! No! No, I won't."
Anyway, back to my Twitter lookup, and the reason I posted this blog item...check this out -- a tweet from some chick named Vivienne Élisabeth. (That's her Twitter profile name; she tweets as @viviennebreton.)
@viviennebreton
Following @priya4876's article in #HuffPo, we're organising a discussion/support group for women in science publishing. Reply if interested
Now, here's how Vivienne Élisabeth describes herself on Twitter:
Human being trapped in a woman's body. 3 degrees, 5 languages, fuck all common sense. Drinking Man's Debbie Harry. Depressive Barbara Windsor. MEDICAL EDITOREast End of London, England
And she still needs a "support group"?
The day I join a "support group" for female writers is the day you can have somebody buckle my wrists to a bed, because it's a sign that something in me is terribly broken.
Announcing "The New Feminism": Women are not equal to men. They are less than men -- fragile little kittens who must be coddled and protected; who cannot speak for themselves; who need an authority figure to do speak for them and then punish those awful men; and who need "support groups" to continue in their work.
Count. Me. Out.
Oh, yeah, and on a related note, what's with going to conferences on science blogging? Can't you just, you know, blog?
"Human being trapped in a woman's body" -- say what? Am I too dense -- or not feminist enough -- to get that?
marion at October 21, 2013 10:39 PM
"Am I too dense -- or not feminist enough -- to get that?"
Yeah, I wondered about that, too. Sounds to me like somebody's been reading too much Sylvia Plath.
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at October 22, 2013 4:16 AM
Announcing "The New Feminism": Women are not equal to men. They are less than men -- fragile little kittens who must be coddled and protected;
Isn't this why feminism was invented in the first place? To get RID of this idea???
Women are so much stronger than they give themselves credit for. And why oh why are they letting others take that away from them??
Flynne at October 22, 2013 6:56 AM
This isn't "new feminism." As far back as its origins, Feminists have endeavored to expand female privilege, entitlement, and princess-status. The notion that Feminism ever made women "strong & independent" is a Trojan Horse that many people sadly allow to exist.
TMG at October 22, 2013 6:57 AM
At this point, I think it's fair to say that these public claims of harassment and victimization by female science writers are being used as a vehicle for self promotion.
pikachu at October 22, 2013 7:18 AM
And I thought Debbie Harry was the drinking man's Debbie Harry. Silly me.
Yes, post-modern feminism wants it both ways. They want equal rights but they also want to retain all of the traditional female privileges, plus some. And they want to be able to use those privileges as they see fit, unencumbered by moral or civilized-behavior constraints.
Cousin Dave at October 22, 2013 8:17 AM
do the adult thing and use your words?
Oh, no no NO that's much too uncomfortable.
carol at October 22, 2013 9:21 AM
c'mon Amy, didn't you know that co-dependence and snark are the NEW thing?
so: a fictitious quote from made up people, that somehow encompasses this:
The world is changed.
I feel it in the water.
I feel it in the earth.
I smell it in the air.
Much that once was, is lost... for none now live, who remember it. - Galadriel
Have you noticed everywhere, that actually DOING, and ACCOMPLISHING, has been subsumed to The Process of Doing, and the Process of Accomplishing?
Working groups and training sessions, and meeting are all, and guess who wants and needs them?
I am constantly besieged by meeting between 5 or 6 people to make a simple decision, that me and one other person could've arrived at in 5 min.
The other 5 people are keeping track of minutiae and metrics, so that they can report on it.
Thus making work for themselves, even tho there is no direct bearing on the ACTUAL work to be done.
It isn't just IT that is suffering under this weight. Look in your school, where for your children, everything is a group process, regardless if that is the best way to get a task done.
HOW MANY LIKES DO I HAVE? Is the validation for your ideas, based on how many people like it on facebook? Is your life planned by committee?
There is an endless universe on the internet, and the democratization of information that has brought is amazing...
and yet, the important thing is to show us a fake vintage instagram picture of your dessert?
It's a very strange process, but process seems more important THAN the outcome. I may be jumping at shadows that aren't there, but I keep running across people who simply aren't able to figure stuff out, without a support group.
SwissArmyD at October 22, 2013 11:39 AM
Amy- that whole thing with Arianna wanting to "borrow" your earrings strikes me as either a come-on or a a control test. You just don't do that to people you just met. It would be like a guy reaching onto another guy's plate and taking French Fries. Unless you are Bill Murray or a buddy, I may very well punch you.
Eric at October 22, 2013 1:39 PM
Always love that those who push for living wages, are the same ones who use unpaid interns and free workers like Adriana does.
Joe J at October 22, 2013 1:51 PM
You just don't do that to people you just met.
You don't, but wealthy, famous people sure do. It's just like Lindsay Lohan walking off with clothes after a photo shoot, or Sharon Stone claiming the diamonds she wore to an awards ceremony were a gift, not a loaner. Or Chris Dodd and Teddy Kennedy thinking they can pull cocktail waitress onto their laps. Entitlement gone crazy.
Astra at October 22, 2013 2:20 PM
I'm with Eric, almost.
How about a come-on and a control test? I don't think you're quite the one to sit up and wag your tail for that combo, but such people exist. Or so I've heard.
phunctor at October 22, 2013 3:20 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/10/22/women_are_worki.html#comment-3998949">comment from AstraYou just don't do that to people you just met. You don't, but wealthy, famous people sure do.
Wealthy, famous people who are assholes do.
PS I'd let KateC, a friend who comments here, take off with my earrings (or whatever) in a hot second.
Amy Alkon at October 22, 2013 3:47 PM
What is it with women running to some authority figure to tell on people rather than deal with those people themselves? It's like they want a man to do their wet work for them.
This behavior should distress honest feminists, who want women to be equals in the workplace, as it should be.
mpetrie98 at October 22, 2013 4:48 PM
And yet, those of us who see gay rights, and gay marriage going down this same socially destructive path of special privileges and double standards, are dismissed with the sweeping generalization. "What could possibly be wrong with "equal marriage rights"?
Isab at October 22, 2013 5:17 PM
I want purple earrings now.
Ppen at October 22, 2013 5:39 PM
Practice it, ladies! Here: "No! No! No! No, I won't."
_____________________________
Or, if that's too harsh for you, try "I don't think so."
That's the line suggested by the book "Getting in Touch With Your Inner Bitch." For some reason, hothead psychologist Bernard Chapin hates the book (he's written hundreds of Amazon reviews and made hundreds of videos). I'll have to read it again.
BTW, re the earrings bit, it reminds me of an otherwise sweet 8-year-old I knew briefly who, after eating her own plate of chicken fingers, had the gall to ask me for MY chicken fingers just because I didn't gobble mine as fast as she did! I just glared at her and said "NO, and I can't believe you asked me that."
Kids her age should know better.
lenona at October 22, 2013 5:52 PM
I think Arianna figured Amy would be flattered. Arianna didn't grow up righ and she's Greek, as well, so touchy-feely is her MO.
But I hate the present Victorian maiden--wimpy women are the worst.
kateC at October 22, 2013 6:09 PM
It would be like a guy reaching onto another guy's plate and taking French Fries. Unless you are Bill Murray or a buddy, I may very well punch you.
I'll stab you with a fork, even if you are my friend
lujlp at October 22, 2013 7:28 PM
Isab:
That explains quite a bit.
Patrick at October 22, 2013 8:03 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/10/22/women_are_worki.html#comment-3999472">comment from PpenI want purple earrings now.
EBay!
I got mine at Monoprix, the French drugstore
Amy Alkon at October 22, 2013 8:06 PM
Didn't grow up RICH. Sorry.
KateC at October 22, 2013 9:32 PM
I'll add this observation about post-modern feminism: In PM feminism, women are supposed to have a lot of sex, but they aren't supposed to enjoy any of it.
Cousin Dave at October 23, 2013 6:31 AM
"Sexual harassment's new meaning: Whatever women decide makes them uncomfortable."
Now yer gettin' it!! What I see in the mainstream feminist crowd these days, reality is what they decide it is, for any-/every-thing. But just for today cuz tomorrow they just might feel the opposite way, and "reality" will be modified accordingly. Is it any wonder many of us men have become disillusioned, cynical, and bitter?
bkmale at October 23, 2013 7:10 AM
Sexual Harrasment and You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykh86ccOwH8
lujlp at October 23, 2013 12:12 PM
Wrong link, sorry
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f76_1323277426
lujlp at October 23, 2013 12:15 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/10/22/women_are_worki.html#comment-4001738">comment from lujlpGreat, luj, and right on.
What happened with second guy is my guess of what would have happened if, instead of some geekschlub, Richard Dawkins or somebody "big" had been in the elevator with Rebecca Watson.
Amy Alkon at October 23, 2013 12:50 PM
I strongly suspect that if you had lent her your earrings, you would never have seen them again. That's just the vibe I get.
-jcr
John C. Randolph at October 23, 2013 5:44 PM
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