The Old Guard Is Still Guarding The Henhouse
In an LA Times Magazine story, Ms. Magazine proves it's still out of touch after all these years, despite its "mandate to remind American women that feminism isn't dead, isn't irrevelant..." Before they even published their first issue, they ditched their first choice of editor, former OC Register investigations editor Tracy Wood, because (among other things) she didn't parrot the old guard's moldy old party line:
(Wood) uses the slang term "grrl" as an example. To Wood, the word was an empowering term for young women. But, she says, to many at the foundation it was a sexist term. "To me, that was young woman teen slang, and that was it," Wood says. "But to women who had come through the movement and fought the battles, they didn't care how you spelled it, it was still the word 'girl.' And they had had such a fight against that word. You know, 'How are you girls doing?'óthe patronizing approach to women, those kind of nuances. To me, they were just part of life..."
...just as they are to potential Ms. readers under 40, the kind they're unlikely to have many of if they cling to the old "we are victims" approach to feminism. Perish forbid that they should allow dissent between the generations (which might make the magazine interesting enough to read), or allow anyone to write anything about Ms. that might not be one big, wet, victim feminist-loving kiss. --Amy Alkon, humanist
Moore Than Ten Commandments
Judge Roy Moore forgot a few, says Christopher Hitchens:
I wonder what would happen if secularists were now to insist that the verses of the Bible that actually recommend enslavement, mutilation, stoning, and mass murder of civilians be incised on the walls of, say, public libraries? There are many more than 10 commandments in the Old Testament, and I live for the day when Americans are obliged to observe all of them, including the ox-goring and witch-burning ones. (Who is Judge Moore to pick and choose?) Too many editorialists have described the recent flap as a silly confrontation with exhibitionist fundamentalism, when the true problem is our failure to recognize that religion is not just incongruent with morality but in essential ways incompatible with it.
(And incompatible with reason, too.)
Celebrities Are Pimpled, Too!
See?!
Jew Know Who
Who's to blame when priests have sex with young parishoners? Could it be...the priests?! Not according to Cardinal Meridiaga, the archbishop of Tegucigalpa, Honduras, "one of a few likely" candidates to succeed Pope John Paul II. Meriaga blames "the Jewish media," writes Alan Dershowitz in an LA Times op-ed piece.
This was an unusually speedy bit of finger-pointing for the church, which, of course, kept its fingers in its pockets for decades instead of pointing them at the rest of the pedophile priests. Is the Pope denouncing Meridiaga's hate-inspired words? Naw, he's too busy wagging a finger in opposition to gay people who want the right to formally declare their love for each other.
Lingua Blogga
Three bilingual French/English blogs I like are: Merde In France, BlogorrhÈe.net, and Emmanuelle.net. Voyez pour votre-meme!
Merde In France is very controversial now because it recognizes that socialism and its ensuing idiocy is bringing France to its knees. As I wrote to Merde-man:
"Enfin, quelqu'un qui voit que l'emperor est nu!" (rough translation: "Somebody finally told the emperor we don't want to look at his jiggly white ass").--Amy Alkon, francophile and frequent France-goer who thinks France had better wake up before it tilts so far left everybody falls into the Seine and drowns
If It's Good For The Goose...
Is the foie gras process bad for the ducks and geese? In Wednesday's LA Times Letters To The Editor section, Norm Drexel, in Christchurch, New Zealand, responded to a story about foie gras-inspired vandalism around San Francisco. Drexel doubts that Cem Akin, a PETA researcher mentioned in the story, has actually witnessed the gavage of geese (the feeding process by which foie gras is produced). Drexel explains:
I don't pretend to be able to read a duck's mind, but they show no obvious signs of fear before or distress after feeding. When brought into the pen, they push to be first in line.
Hmmm...kind of like the flabby crowd ill-advisedly shoving to "Supersize It" at 7-11 -- but with webbed feet. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like the LA Times reporter who wrote the story ever left her desk to -- forgive me -- take a gander at any ducks or geese...or (sigh) bothered to phone even one objective expert. (I call this "interactive newswriting" -- where the story isn't altogether told, leaving the reader to fill in the blanks. What fun!)
In this case, it leaves the big question -- is gavage cruel or not? -- hanging over the story. I don't know the answer, but I did find a couple corroborations of what Drexel wrote...here and here. So, should PETA change its name?...to PIPA?..."People For The Inaccurate Portrayal Of Animals?" It does have a cute sort of Mexical-Italian ring to it. But does it have the ring of truth? That is the question.
UPDATE: Look what happens when you put a little reporting into the mix! Here are a few words from Andrew Gumbel's story in the UK's Independent:
Mr. Jaubert said his adversaries were picking the wrong target. The Californian duck farm, operating under the name Sonoma Foie Gras, was free-range. Animals spent almost all their lives outside, he said, except for the final period of grain-feeding in air-conditioned buildings. "This is extremely good treatment, certainly compared to the way the big chicken producers behave with their animals," he said.Mr. Manrique, who comes from Gascony, the heart of duck country in south-west France, has been an ambassador for foie gras for years. "Force-feeding is really the wrong word," he told a group of cooking students in San Francisco a couple of years ago. "The geese see the food we offer them and run after us. They say, 'Give me more'."
Such remarks may not sit well with the "meat is murder" crowd, but science is beginning to show that he may not be entirely wrong. An article in the journal British Poultry Science in 2001 found "no significant indication that force-feeding is perceived as an acute or chronic stress by male mule ducks".
A Cure For Sex
Children, of course! A horror story by Lisa Carver.
Shocked, Simply Shocked
That's how I feel because Crispin Sartwell has yet to respond to my e-mail offering to spray paint my opinion (of his LA Times op-ed rationalizing graffiti) on his garage. (See Monday's posting.) I've e-mailed him again. Perhaps he's on vacation. Surely, he stands behind what he wrote, and it will be only days before he gives me a date to come over and spray-paint "Crispin Sartwell is a blithering idiot" on his garage door. What's good enough for Mr. Coca-Cola is surely good enough for Mr. Crispin...right?
August 27, 2003Dear Crispin,
Hey, I'm still waiting to hear when I can spray-paint my opinion of your op-ed piece on your garage (or other area of your house or apartment). You do stand behind what you wrote in that op-ed, don't you?
--Amy Alkon
Column Quote Of The Month
I'm getting a lot of thank you notes from men for these lines I wrote in my Advice Goddess column:
ìMen are simple creatures. Give the average guy a hamburger, a naked girlfriend and a wide-screen TV, and heís happy. Throw in a Universal Remote, unfettered access to his friends, and time alone to use, fix, or stare at mechanical objects, and heís delirious with joy. Sounds pretty simple, huh -- find a good guy, let him be, and heíll probably be good right back?î
Where Toilet Seat Covers Come From
I guess they have yet to glue on the little plastic eyes.
Happy Sphincter
Is there any other kind? How's your sphincter today? (Note: That was a rhetorical question.)
Eat The Rich
The logic-impaired Crispin Sartwell writes on the LA Times Op-Ed page that ìdefacingî billboards ìshould be allowedî because ìadvertising is the public expression of wealthy people and organizations. Graffiti is the public expression of people who are more or less broke. And that is exactly why advertising is authorized and graffiti is eradicated.î
Um, no. Itís because graffiti is a trespass on property rights. Apparently, professor Sartwell doesnít think wealthy people and organizations are entitled to property rights simply because they have money. Of course, no person, no matter how big or little their bank balance, has the right to deface the property of another. Doing so isnít freedom of speech -- itís theft via vandalism -- just as it would be if I spray-painted ìSartwell Is A Blithering Idiotî on his garage door. Fortunately, for Sartwell, Iím a property rights-respecting libertarian -- but even if I werenít, Iím sure heíd just stand in a window and salute and wave as I sprayed.
This in no way means that a person who opposes certain advertising messages -- me, for example -- is silenced. That person is free to express her opposing opinion by earning money or by collecting it from supporters of her cause and buying her own billboard -- an idea thatís always tempted me. Sheís also free to come up with a low-cost creative way to get her message across, whether itís picketing the billboard while wearing a message on a sandwich board or printing up a snarky, opposing message on business cards and tucking them under the windshield wipers of mammoth SUVs. The right to do so falls under First Amendment protections for free speech. In Sartwellís defense, I havenít read the Constitution lately, so if somebodyís tacked some amendment on it granting freedom to deface other peopleís property, please let me know.
By the way, a little cleverness in putting out an opposing viewpoint is the quickest route to free publicity (read: free advertising -- something commercial entities arenít likely to get). My own anti-SUV campaign was chronicled in a number of newspapers -- in America and around the world -- and on radio shows across America. Total cost: $35 plus tax for business cards at Staples, and $12 a month for the voicemail number printed on the card.
UPDATE: My email to Crispin Sartwell, sent 4pm PST, is below. I eagerly await his reply!
Dear Crispin,
Assuming you stand behind what you wrote, when would be a good time for me to come over and spray paint how I feel about your op-ed on your garage door (or elsewhere on your house or apartment if you don't have a garage door)?
--Amy Alkon
The No-Food Diet
But, donít call it dieting; theyíre detoxifying, whisper followers of the latest fad diet -- fasting -- in this un-bylined New York Times story. Who knows where the food-free search for serenity may lead? Well, maybe your fasting coach. If itís Natalia Rose, lucky you! -- you could be going to Barneys. Thatís where she takes those who enroll in her long-weekend fasting workshops, so theyíll be ìfocused on Narciso Rodriguez, not what they're putting in their stomachs." You certainly wonít want to focus on what youíre taking out of your wallet, since not eating can cost much more than eating -- especially if you go to the spa that charges up to $3,484 a week to send you to bed without your supper. (Clearly, eliminating solid food only melts away pounds, not gullibility.) Too bad the pounds will probably come back:
As a way to lose weight, long-term fasting can even be counterproductive, for it causes the body to conserve energy. "Our body makes adjustments and socks away the calories more when you come out of the fast," said Dr. William Hart, an associate professor of nutrition and dietetics at St. Louis University. "You defeat the purpose of weight loss, and you'll gain weight."
Not to worry. Once you do, itís Enema Time! Unfortunately, this part of the adventure doesnít involve a pit-stop at Barneys.
UPDATE: Emmanuelle wonders if Arnold could do with a little less solid food. See for yourself.
One More Reason Not To Call Yourself A Feminist
Someone might think you are a member of NOW, which actually intends to back scandal queen and senatorial joke Carol Moseley-Braun for president. Sadly for NOW, California gubernatorial joke candidate Gary Coleman, who's had only one brush with the law (for socking an autograph hound) and has yet to disappoint in politics, has the wrong chromosome. About Mosely-Braun's "disappointing representation" as a senator from Illinois, the Chicago Tribune wrote:
"...her legislative accomplishments have been few and, even more troubling, she has gained a reputation for being inattentive to basic constituent services."
Hmmm...Could this NOW endorsement be a Republican-backed plot? Or did the Republicans just get lucky?
Spammers Unplugged...And Bare-Breasted
This blog item is dedicated to everyone who spent hours deleting Sobig e-mail from their mailboxes.
A man reveals how he got revenge on the spammer lady who forged his domain name. Here are a few related links, including a more, uh, intimate look at the ladies clogging your e-mail box with spam (scroll down for the naked links).
Will Black Lung Be The New Black?
In this AP story by John Heilprin, The White House takes heat for urging the EPA to fudge post-9/11 environmental safety reports, misleading New Yorkers -- most notably, those living in Tribeca and around Wall Street -- into thinking ìthere was no health risk from the debris-laden air after the World Trade Center collapse":
President Bush's senior environmental adviser on Friday defended the White House involvement, saying it was justified by national security.
(Thankfully, he didn't say "if New Yorkers knew what they were breathing, the terrorists win.") Still, according to Heilprin's story, The White House did seem a bit more concerned with cleaning up press releases than telling the truth about cleaning up downtown New York:
The White House ìconvinced EPA to add reassuring statements and delete cautionary onesî by having the National Security Council control EPA communications in the wake of the Sept. 11 terror attacks, according to a report issued late Thursday by EPA Inspector General Nikki L. Tinsley.
Maybe lower Manhattan residents can fund their chemo treatments by selling T-shirts: ìMy country got reassuring press releases and all I got was this lousy lung cancer!î They might not be alone for long. As Julian Borger writes for The Guardian, we could all be sucking more pollutants very soon:
The Bush administration plans to open a huge loophole in America's air pollution laws, allowing an estimated 17,000 outdated power stations and factories to increase their carbon emissions with impunity.
"My country...hack, hack, cough, cough...tis of thee..."
The World Wide What?
In one of this year's frolicking adventures in overshare, we learn that "www" is sometimes short for the "World Wide Wonítcha Look Up My Butt?"...home to way too much information about other peopleís sphincter issues. (Sorry to say, I forget where I found this link...if only I could say the same about this girl's "anal fissures.")
Have You Been To Breakup Hell?
In a recent Sex In The City, Berger broke up with Carrie via Post-It note. Have you experienced breakup via Fedex or discovered you were no longer seeing somebody after they blocked your email and phone calls? I'm collecting horrible, humiliating breakup stories, and I'd appreciate if you'd post yours or others' you've heard about in the comments section just below:
Would You Pay Someone $150,000 A Year To Poison Your Dog?
Yesterdayís Page One LA Times story, profiling a chick with a plastic surgery hobby who walks celebritiesí dogs, seems to end with one or more of the dogs sneaking some of her latte:
Each time she escorted a dog to his home and returned to her car, a pair of dogs took over the front seat. She shooed away Hugo and Sophie, two German shepherds.Lever put the key in the ignition and eyed her coffee cup.
"Who," she asked, "has been drinking my latte?"
Now, to be fair, itís unclear from the way this is written whether sheís just pretending the dogs drank from her latte, or whether they actually did. One hopes sheís not so focused on how ìfancyî she is (to borrow a Marnye Oppenheim word) for being a celebrity dog service provider, that she forgets coffee is poison for dogs. Happily, the milk in a latte usually just makes dogs leave brown puddles on the new white sofa...which is almost as appealing as a dog walker who drops more starsí names than a ìproducerî without a deal.
Estrich Print-Wrestles Arianna
Susan Estrich doesn't just think Arianna's a bad candidate for governor, but a bad candidate for mommy -- who's been "recalled" by her own children:
This is, after all, the woman who runs against oil interests and lives in a mansion financed by oil money, rails against pigs at the trough and pays no taxes, runs as an independent and supports a guru. She's even got a documentary crew following her for the campaign. I wonder if they filmed the children moving out.
Meee-yow!
UPDATE: Arianna claws back, through her press secretary.
(via LAObserved)
Just Say Gno
Paul Krassner writes, in New York Press, about his adventures in publishing, including his first acid trip:
When I told my mother about LSD, she was quite concerned. "It could lead to marijuana," she said. Mom was right.
Conspiracy Theory Of The Week
Commander Rapaport needs our help! I got an email (described in detail here) from a guy who claims, among other things, to have gotten ì4-5 Congressional Medals Of Honor.î I love this. If you believe his claim, Congress is now tossing them around like popcorn. I like that heís not quite sure of exactly how many heís gotten. Four to five? Something in that neighborhood.
Me: Nobody has "four to five" Congressional Medals Of Honor. Please prey on somebody who'll believe your story. That person is not me.
ìThe Commanderî emails back: If this case was not at least partially on the level do you think I would be walking around and alive and with out lawsuits. Piece of shit excuse for a news reporter.
Me: I'm not Woodward and Bernstein, you idiot. I'm not even a reporter. Some CIA dude. Note that I'm called "The Advice Goddess," and I write a humorous (I hope) love advice column. This is not top-secret information. There's a big, long bio page on my Web site.
If geniuses like this are indeed working for the CIA, it's no wonder they can't find Osama Bin Laden.
The PowerPoints Of Customer Disservice
Beware, Houston Doubletree Hotel, of dissatisfied customers with bandwith to burn. A hilarious tribute, in PowerPoint, to Houston Doubletree Hotel hell.
(via Buzzmachine)
The Thug Culture
City Journal's John C. McWhorter says hip-hop holds blacks back:
Many writers and thinkers see a kind of informed political engagement, even a revolutionary potential, in rap and hip-hop. They couldnít be more wrong. By reinforcing the stereotypes that long hindered blacks, and by teaching young blacks that a thuggish adversarial stance is the properly ìauthenticî response to a presumptively racist society, rap retards black success.
Bush-League Science
As a kid, I read a story about a man engaged in target practice whoíd shot a dozen perfect bull's-eyes into a wall. An army officer approached him and asked how heíd managed to score so well. "Itís easy," said the man. "I shoot first, and draw the bull's-eyes afterward."
This article by Nicholas Thompson in Washington Monthly details how the Bush administration does much the same thing -- taking a position on an issue based on politics or religion, then trolling for snippets of scientific data to support it:
"The administration's stem-cell stand is just one of many examples, from climate change to abstinence-only sex-education programs, in which the White House has made policies that defy widely accepted scientific opinion."
The administration also has a tendency to appoint "religious conservatives whose political credentials are stronger than their research" credentials. Check out the voodoo approach to women's health issues:
"For example, on Christmas Eve 2002, Bush appointed David Hager--a highly controversial doctor who has written that women should use prayer to reduce the symptoms of PMS--to the FDA's Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Commission."
One wonders if he suggests the same solution for men whose prayer-treated, PMS-ing wives and girlfriends are chasing them around the house with an ax.
Meet Robo-Potty!
For a shiny heinie, the Japanese bathroom fixture with a brain.
Timing Is The Only Thing
At this point, Gray Davis would sign legislation allowing oysters the right to drive semis. (Wait, can oysters vote?) Gays and lesbians can. Which is why, as Daniel Weintraub writes:
Gov. Gray Davis has promised to sign landmark legislation granting marriage-style rights, benefits and responsibilities to gay and lesbian domestic partners, according to a gay rights activist who participated in a conference call with a top aide to the governor on Saturday.The gay rights bill is at least the third controversial measure that Davis has promised to sign since he came under fire in the recall. He also said he would sign a bill to give driverís licenses to illegal immigrants, and another measure expanding financial privacy protections for consumers. In the past, Davis has almost never agreed to sign legislation before it reached his desk.
Great that heís signing it -- even if it isn't because he has anything resemblng a spine, let alone an opinion that didnít come from rent-a-pollster.
Thatís Mr. Cassandra To You!
Hereís my favorite whiny writer-man, Carey Roberts, sniveling that no feminist has repudiated the words of the following rad-fem male-bashers who think the planet could do with a few fewer men:
"The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race."
--Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future--If There Is One--Is Female"If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males."
--Mary Daly, former Professor at Boston College, 2001
Roberts even bores us with a little Catherine MacKinnon:
"In a patriarchal society all heterosexual intercourse is rape.î
But, he leaves out my favorite Andrea Dworkin quote:
ìIn seduction, the rapist bothers to buy a bottle of wine.î
Why aren't women leaping from their chairs to speak out against these remarks? For the same reason nobody gets too excited when a man on the subway wearing green antennae insists thereís a giant pink bunny eating all the passengers in the next car. Of course, unlike Carey, the average subway rider doesnít equate antennae man to Hitler, or connect the rider-munching imaginary bunny to predictions that women are about to take a big sponge and wipe men off the face of the earth. The guy could find a global conspiracy against men on a fleaís ass. A girl flea, of course. And you know how nefarious they are!
Dr. Laura: "Yuh Nev-uh Write, Yuh Nev-uh Call!"
Dr. Laura has renounced Orthodox Judaism; apparently because she wasn't getting enough fan mail from Jews, says this Forward article by Lisa Keys:
Schlessinger began her August 5 program by noting that, prior to each broadcast, she spends an hour reading faxes from fans and listeners. "By and large the faxes from Christians have been very loving, very supportive," she said. "From my own religion, I have either gotten nothing, which is 99% of it, or two of the nastiest letters I have gotten in a long time. I guess that's my point ó I don't get much back. Not much warmth coming back."
Yeah, but how do the Buddhists, Seventh-Day Adventists, and Hari Krishnas stack up? Come on Krishnas, shake those finger cymbals...show the love!
(via my old New York Daily News colleagues, Rush & Molloy)
Spike Lee Sued By Sara Lee
Andy Borowitz bakes up a tasty report:
ìPie-maker Sara Lee today slapped filmmaker Spike Lee with a $90 million dollar trademark infringement suit, claiming that the director was unfairly benefiting from a positive association with the companyís mouth-watering array of pies, pastries and assorted breakfast treats.Geoffrey Stimpson, a company spokesman, said that Spike Leeís attempt to piggyback on Sara Leeís good name was doomed to failure.
ëNobody doesnít like Sara Lee, but plenty of people donít like Spike Lee,í Mr. Stimpson said.î
Lawyers from Sara Lee also noted that the company owns the word ìpie,î and ìdemanded that Mr. Lee remove the letters P, I, and E from his first name ëimmediately.íî
(via Volokh.com)
Asbestos: Ignore It And Maybe It Will Go Away
That seemed to be the post-9/11 EPA approach to cleaning up my old neighborhood in lower Manhattan. According to a Salon.com story by Abrahm Lustgarten:
ìIn a January 2003 draft report of a scathing, as yet unreleased assessment of the EPAís response in lower Manhattan, the agencyís own Inspector Generalís office concluded that the EPA did not have the proper information to assure residents that the air was safe to breathe, that the standards the agency set for asbestos levels were unusually low and inconsistent with EPA regulations, that the clean-up was compromised by cost-cutting, and finally, that the Bush administration played an unusual and inappropriate role in editing and shaping all of the information released by the EPA to the public.î
It's A Man's World...
And we're celebrating...even doing "The Law Book Limbo."
Emmanuelle Looks At Arnoldís Willie
In France, ìArnold And Willyî is not a headline about the California governorís race, but the French title of ìDifferent Strokes,î starring the California governor candidate Gary Coleman...not to be confused with ìArnold and Willie,î a photograph starring the naked California governor candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger. Still confused? Emmanuelle shows and tells (almost) all. (The English translation is in yellow below the French.) For the naked truth, visit Daniel Radosh.
Is My Eyeliner Running?
These are words you never want to hear from your boyfriend -- unless, of course, youíre his boyfriend, too. Jean-Paul Gaultier launches makeup for men:
"'We're sure the first men to buy it will be trendy, gay guys,' admits Le Male's product manager Stephane Goret-Dervailly. 'But pretty soon it will be used by men who just need to present themselves well, who want a solution in the bathroom when they wake up looking tired. Fifteen years ago we weren't talking about skincare for men at all. So this is pretty revolutionary.'"
Well, call me counter-revolutionary, but the day my boyfriend starts dipping into my eyeshadow and humming "I Feel Pretty" is the day my boyfriend becomes my ex-boyfriend.
(via Gawker)
Ted Williams, Baseball Legend And Human Popsicle
According to Sports Illustrated columnist Rick Reilly, the late Ted Williams is ìspending his time in a one-story cement building in a warehouse district next to the Scottsdale, Ariz., airport, frozen, upside down, waiting for science to bring him back from the dead.î
Of course, they donít say ìdeadî there at Alcor Life Extension Foundation, ìAmericaís largest cryonics company.î They call it ìthe end of his first life cycle.î They also refuse to say whether or not Williams is one of their frozen guests. But, according to Williamsí daughter, thatís where heís spending the end of his first life cycle -- in a tank ìwith at least two other bodies and probably eight severed heads.î
Late-breaking severed head report: Sports Illustrated now reports that Ted's head and body are being stored separately while his son is dunned for freezing costs.
(via Romeneskoís letters page)
Pin The Hose On The Fireman
This bachelorette party game comes in two fabulous flavors -- white on one side, African-American on the other! Sadly, the Penis Pinata and Pin The Macho On The Man only come in Caucasian.
A Consenting Petri Dish...
...Is hard to find. A lesbian couple encountered major hassles from Continental Airlines when they tried to take their children to Mexico, without ìwritten permission from the childrenís fatherî:
ìTo convince check-in employees that the children had no father, Quattrochi had to explain in front of the children and other passengers that they were conceived with donated sperm. Still, the women said, Continental staff refused to let them board the plane.î
The Height Report
Just when you thought everybody who could whine about how hard they have it already had...fellow tall person John Leo plants tongue in cheek to write about Tall, a new magazine, just for us, and addresses the many hardships we, the, uh...ìuncommonly elevated,î endure:
ìDepicting tallness as evil may well be the last safe prejudice to have in America,î and ìOne of the vexing problems for the height-consciousness movement is that most people think tall people are doing well and should have no complaints.î
Hereís a bit more from Leo on the tragic hell of everyday life as a tall person:
ìABC's '20-20' pointed to research showing that women, corporations and children all prefer tall people. But this fails to account for the outright anti-height discrimination in everyday life. A nontall person may say, 'How's the weather up there?' (Correct reply: 'You'll find out when you grow up.') or 'Do you play basketball?' (Possible retorts: 'Do you play miniature golf?' and 'Are you a jockey?') And, as we all know, the cry 'Down in front!' devastates many tall and vulnerable teens. It's always hurtful to be looked upon as a visual obstacle."
But, tall is not lost:
"This is why activists are demanding a height-friendly college curriculum (reading ëWuthering Heightsí is a must). On the agenda too are height-themed dormitories where tall and pro-tall students can mix their distinctive cultures. Maybe a doctorate could be offered in tallness studies.There is even talk that dismissive phrases like ëthat's a tall tale,í which sadly associates height with lying, may be declared hate speech by the Irish parliament or even by the whole European Union.î
Of course, being tall canít be anywhere near as painful as being a rich, famous, movie star. Unfortunately, that segment of the magazine market already appears to be glutted.
Under Construction, But Don't Let That Stop You
My fabulous uber-techno boyfriend is working on my site in hopes of making it more readable for all the poor people who aren't on Macs. Please excuse any debris. Snide remarks about my immaturity for the Mac superiority crack go to your lower right.
Aliens Ate My Brain!
The problem with idiots who believe in aliens is that the aliens who supposedly kidnap them for experimentation seem to do just about everything to them but sterilize them. Hence, this website featuring the drawings of children whose parents take them seriously when they tell them they shared their lunch with little green men:
"...children who were abducted by aliens for the alien purpose of creating a new race of alien/human hybrids. The drawings show different aspects of the alien abduction phenomenon and include cruel medical procedures performed on children, children boarding alien spacecraft with other aliens, children playing with alien/hybrid children so the alien/hybrids can learn how to be human, and children being taken by aliens against their will..."At least the alien-deflecting ìthought screen hatî (scroll below the drawings) is relatively nondescript; perhaps preventing children who wear it from a lifetime of teasing for being the offspring of blithering idiots.
Not Just Walken, But Stepping In It
Need somebody to skim your pool, feed your cat, or alphabetize your CDs? Christopher Walkenís your man! Fametracker points out, with the movies Oscar winner Walkenís agreed to be in (Kangaroo Jack, Country Bears, Privateer 2: The Darkening, and yes, Gigli), itís clear heíll do just about anything if you ask him.
The Economics Of Innocence
Tyler Cowen looks at the Kobe case from an economics perspective:
"Should economists think that Kobe Bryant is innocent? Don't we teach our students, first and foremost, that incentives matter? Didn't Kobe have huge and obvious incentives not to do it? Wouldn't an attention-seeker victim have some incentive to lie and stretch the story? Even if, heaven forbid, a guy had rape as his goal, rather than sex, wouldn't an economic model predict he would pick a different state and county? Yet I have asked a few economists, market-oriented economists, the kind who believe in the power of incentives, and they all think Kobe is guilty as charged (admittedly my sample is not huge)."
Something's wrong with the perma-link to this specific piece. To read Cowen's entire post, go to Volokh.com, Sunday, August 10, third entry down.
Why Canít Boys Be Girls?
Christina Hoff Sommers writes about failed efforts to "sensitivity train" boys into girls:
ìAn ëequity facilitatorí tried to persuade a group of nine-year-old boys in a Baltimore public school to accept the idea of playing with baby dolls. According to one observer, ëTheir reaction was so hostile, the teacher had trouble keeping order.í And then there was Jimmy. At age 11, this San Francisco sixth grader was made to contribute a square to a class quilt ëcelebrating women we admire.í He chose to honor tennis player Monica Seles who, in 1993, was stabbed on the court by a deranged fan of Steffi Graf. Jimmy handed in a muslin square festooned with a tennis racket and a bloody dagger. His square may be unique in the history of quilting, but his teacher did not appreciate its originality and rejected it.A 2001 special issue of Scientific American reviewed the growing evidence that childrenís play preferences are, in large part, hormonally determined. Researchers confirmed what parents experience all the time: Even with counter-conditioning, boys and girls gravitate toward very different toys. ...The entire anthropological record offers not a single example of a society where females have better spatial reasoning skills and males better verbal skills, where females are fixated on objects and men on feelings, or where males are physically docile and females aggressive.î
A quote in her piece from Lionel Tiger, one of my favorite anthropologists, sums it up pretty well: ìBiology is not destiny, but it is good statistical probability.î
(via Arts & Letters Daily)
Feminist Proper-ganda
And while we're on Christina Hoff Sommers, here's an example of what happens to girls who don't "talk feminist."
Toe Way Out
Forget governor. If I were queen, you wouldnít have people inflicting themselves on you in public -- on their cell phones or in other rude (and/or violently disgusting) ways. Well, not for long, anyway. I would pass a royal decree that businesses would not only have to provide wheelchair access, but an ìoutî for people assaulted by the bad manners of others. Not to worry -- this would actually play out in a democratic matter. The ìaudienceî being forced to look at or listen to something dreadfully dull or vile would vote on whether the ìperformerî gets the hook. Only this wouldnít be a hook, but a trap door. Down the hatch, boor!
Warning -- those with weak stomachs should not read on: Friday afternoon, I had the distinct displeasure, to put it mildly, of watching a guy pick his toes!! in the Starbucks on the Santa Monica Promenade. This was not a homeless wacko, but a middle-aged, grey-bearded chunko white guy wearing flip-flops, accompanied a zaftig, ponytailed J.Crew-schlumpy girlfriend; herself in dirty white flip-flops. The girlfriend was getting coffee when I marched over and told the guy, ìIím not one to do this -- just go speak to strangers in public places...î (okay, so thatís, perhaps, the lie of the century), ìbut you need to stop picking your toes RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOW!î He did stop (picking dead skin off his toes)...and, from then on, just resorted to...ugh...fondling his toes a little -- like he was simply dying to get back to picking them. He was still toe-fondling right in my eyeline, so I changed tables. I took a huge table (having moved from a tiny one Iíd taken initially, in hopes of leaving the larger ones for groups of people). What this meant, ultimately, was that a very nice-looking family (at least, they didnít look like toe-pickers) had no place to sit. All because there are no trap doors for vile toe-pickers at Starbucks. ...Just a little something you might consider if you get to wondering who should be queen.
P.S. If, for some reason, I am not available to become royalty, I would nominate Cathy Seipp to take over the monarchy, since sheís equally unwilling to put up with vile crap like this. In fact, upon hearing of my idea, she filled in the part I left out: the moat under the trap door filled with piranhas.
Mean Landlord Wonít Let You Get A Dog?
Well, read your lease closely. Does it say ìno petsî or ìno dogsî? Because the second best thing to a black lab might be a rust-colored goat. Naturally, this link was spotted by the inimitable Ken Layne, who seeks to deny his poor wife her dream of a dog to run with, in hopes of getting the lawn mowed gratis, plus bargain goat cheese.
ìWhat is a dog?î he asks (and answers)-- ìa loud, stupid shitting machine. Nobody needs that.î Hereís Kenís ìyes to goatsî argument:
ìGoats are not only smarter and funnier than dogs -- they'll eat all the weeds in our back yard, and maybe even produce that expensive goat cheese my wife always buys at the Trader Joe's. (I'm not sure exactly how this works, but in my mind the goats will actually produce those 8 oz. packages of "Silver Goat" and put 'em in the fridge while we're sleeping.)î
Medicine For Morons
Health food stores are a bad place to go for cancer advice? No! Really? According to a Reuters story by Anthony J. Brown, MD:
ìHealth food stores offer breast cancer patients a variety of recommendations that are seldom useful and, in some cases, harmful.A Canadian study found that a total of 33 different products were recommended for breast cancer, none of which has been established as an effective treatment for the disease.
More often than not, advice at health food stores probably does not affect a patient's ultimate outcome, but sometimes it may be harmful, study author Edward Mills, from the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine in North York, Ontario, told Reuters Health.
For instance, ëone employee actually suggested discontinuing Tamoxifen to a patient," he said. Tamoxifen is a common treatment for breast cancer that has been shown in numerous studies to improve survival.íî
In the above study, research assistants posed as customers ìand asked employees what they would recommend for their mother with breast cancer.î
Hereís what Iíd recommend for such customers: that their mother adopt another child -- one with the sense not to shop for cancer cures where they shop for their PMS tea and their wooden footsie rollers. ìOh, just take a little milk thistle, and that tumor'll be gone in a jiffy!î
Advice Columnist For Governor?
No, not me. Advice columnist and fomer child star Gary Coleman. A Bay Area alt weekly, The East Bay Express, is running him against ìThe Governatorî and the rest of the motley crew chomping to unseat Gray. Susan Goldsmith interviewed me about the Coleman candidacy:
ìAmy Alkon...believes Gary still has room to grow as a dispenser of online advice. But the Los Angeles-based writer and voter loves the idea of having a governor willing to roll up his sleeves and fix things. ëIt's smart to pick somebody who's committed to solving problems instead of somebody who's committed to kissing the hands of people who've greased their palms,í Alkon says. ëAs an advice columnist you have to be decisive, which is already a step up over the highly indecisive Gray Davis. And when Gray Davis does get decisive, he always makes the wrong decision. I don't see how Gray Davis is, in any way, superior to Gary Coleman.íî
East Bay's Chris Thompson compares Gary with Gray: "Their names are almost identical, but they couldn't be any more different."
LAW ENFORCEMENT EXPERIENCEGray: Junior high hall pass monitor
Gary: Security guard
HIT TV SERIES
Gray: None
Gary: Diff'rent Strokes
DIVERSITY
Gray: Some of his best friends are ...
Gary: Black and beautiful
ENERGY
Gray: Bungling caused blackouts
Gary: His humor is electrifying
CAMPAIGN SLOGAN
Gray: "I want your money."
Gary: "None of the above."
EDUCATION
Gray: Class size matters
Gary: Class matters
HEALTH
Gray: Awaiting his personality transplant
Gary: Survived kidney transplant
INDEPENDENCE
Gray: Sold out California to deep-pocketed campaign contributors
Gary: Will govern California on his own terms
CRIME
Gray: Not a pro
Gary: Not a con
Where Thereís Smoke...
Researchers think dosing on vitamin C could help protect non-smokers who are frequently exposed to second-hand cigarette smoke. I find use of a high-powered squirt gun to be much more expedient.
"Jailbait And Switch"
Cruel.com calls it. Members of the site Perverted-Justice.com "(troll) the Internet posing as underage girls, then (post) chat transcripts and all of the information provided by the wanna-be sexual predators who turn up on the hook." Here's a typical creep -- photo, phone number, and all. Unbelievable stuff.
Heavy Meddle, Washington-Style
The really big threat to the institution of marriage is politicians who want to put their greasy little hands all over it. So says yet another smart article by Wendy McElroy, suggesting, as I have, that ìwhat constitutes a marriage should be determined by contract between the consenting adults involved, not by government.î
She lets GLAD respond to the notion that gay people should make do with the civil union solution adopted by Vermont:
"Civil unions are a good first step, but they don't go far enough. ...Gay and lesbian couples want and need what everyone else has -- the right to receive the full protections bestowed by the state and federal government that come through marriage." A main difference between a marriage and a civil union is that the former has an automatic claim on various federal entitlements.î
I donít think marriage makes sense for our times, but if straight people are allowed to not make sense, gay people should be allowed to not make sense, too. Hereís more of what McElroy had to say, rather eloquently, about it:
"Politicians should be stripped of the power to dictate which consenting adults may marry or the terms of those marriages. The only proper concern of law should be to enforce the contract and to arbitrate any breach that occurs.In performing this function, it should give no more weight to the sexual preference of those involved than it gives to their skin color -- that is, none at all. The only ëentitlementí that should accompany marriage is the enforcement of the terms of that contract.î
Who Says Gigli Isnít Great Entertainment?
Just read all the hilarious quotes from reviews, like this one by Nell Minow:
ìI had a flicker of a thought that the mundane inanity...might be some Samuel Beckett-style commentary on the existential void. Then I realized that watching the movie put me closer to the existential void than they ever were.î
(via Gawker)
Horny Puritans Need Sex Toys, Too
Milford, CT, is in an uproar over their new, Clean, Well-Lighted Sex Shop, the Penthouse Boutique.
"We are not a right-wing puritanical community," the mayor said in a New York Times article by Mark Santora. "But I coach kids' baseball, and I have people come up to me all the time saying this is not something we want in our community."
Of course they do. Then they throw on their trench coats and dark glasses and go shopping.
Is That A Laptop In Your Bomb, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Oh, happy day! The airport security geniuses are going to pay special attention to electronic devices like cameras...and laptops. Great idea -- in concept. Many of the screeners Iíve encountered not only couldnít find five sticks of dynamite if I duct-taped them to my forehead, they probably couldnít find Bin Laden himself if they were seated next to him in an Al Quaida training camp. One clueless female screener who ìexaminedî my computer at LAX a few months ago seemed sheíd be challenged just using a telephone with a dial pad. Slapping my keyboard with her big, ham-fisted gloved paws, she was shocked when this caused items on the desktop to open:
Miss Ham Fists: ìI said I was sorry I deleted the book you were writing, didnít I?î(Okay, it wasnít that bad -- but it could have been if I werenít a micro-managing bitch.)
Straight Eye For The Gay Guy
This would be the show in which the straight guys advise the gay guy on how to propose to his boyfriend. Andrew Sullivan hopes, in Time Magazine, that it will someday qualify as ìreality TV,î but worries that there will be a backlash against gays.
Hurricane Latonya
Where are those African-American hurricane names?! Apparently, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) doesnít have much going on in Congress so sheís focusing on really important issues, like a lack of hurricanes named Keisha, Deshawn, and Jamal. ìAll racial groups should be represented,î said Lee, as reported by TheHill.comís Bill Thomas. According to Thomas:
ìThe World Meteorological Organization began naming tropical storms after women in 1953. That made sense to scientists at the time who thought women and storms were both unpredictable. After feminist groups protested, menís names were added in 1979.The National Weather Service says hurricane names are derived from languages spoken in areas that border the Atlantic Ocean, where such storms occur. Yet that doesnít explain why Gaston, Ernesto and Cindy were chosen and Antwon, Destiny and Latonya were passed over.
Lee said she hoped in the future the weather establishment ëwould try to be inclusive of African American names.íî
I think we all should get ours. Being post-Jewish, I certainly won't rest 'til I see Hurricanes Sol, Sylvia, and Irving.
(via Volokh.com)
David Shawís ìGee Whiz!î Moment Of The Week
LA Times media critic David Shaw discovers that the personals are considered an acceptable way for single people who arenít drooling psychiatric wards to meet one another. Maybe Shawís just too old and stuffy to know that just about every single-and-looking person on the planet has, for several years, been hurling personals ads into print and onto the ënet with reckless abandon. Naturally, in all-too-typical LA Times fashion, he had to wait for The New York Times to stamp personals ads ìcool," in ìOnline Dating Sheds Its Stigma as Losers.com.î
Go to it, David!
To explore this shocking development, Shaw turns to the obvious choice: ìthe pages of the alumni magazine published by the countryís most prestigious institution of learning, Harvard University.î On page 97, he discovers a personals ad for a woman who dares to compare herself to ìSela Ward with a touch of Kate Jackson and a dash of Jaclyn Smith.î Yes, Virginia -- Harvard meets episodic television. Oh, horrors! In those 14 TV star-studded words, plus ìmore than a dozen other ads that also invoked Hollywood names as the ultimate enticement,î Shaw reads, writ large, the decline of western civilization. Oh, please.
David, darling...(may I call you "darling," or will such condescending familiarity lead you to yet another upsetting revelation -- that we are no longer living in Victorian England?) Never mind. Letís stick to this weekís biology lesson: Men -- even those who attended ìthe countryís most prestigious institution of learningî -- have an overriding preference for beautiful women. Hollywood women tend to be especially beautiful. Because they are famous, their faces are known to a wide variety of people -- unlike the beautiful girl who works in the coffee bar down the road. Thus, it makes perfect sense for a woman to compare herself to a famous beautiful woman or beautiful women -- assuming sheís trying to inspire a man to go out with her, not give her an English literature exam.
No, looks arenít everything. But with men, theyíre primary. ìShouldî this be different? Perhaps. But it isnít. And thatís why you donít hear a lot of men standing around at parties whispering to each other, ìGet a load of the personality on that chick!î or, to phrase it a little more ìcontinentaleî for David Shawís benefit: ìI say, old chap, that damsel over yonder has a marvelous set of...lobes, donít you think?
Contrary to David Shawís ìooh, cootiesî approach to pop culture, being educated and intelligent doesnít mean you need to put up a wall between yourself and ìlow culture.î My media critic friend Cathy Seipp is living, breathing, syndicated column-writing proof of that. Perhaps because she isnít exactly insecure or concerned with what anybody thinks of her, she can enjoy pop culture (in addition to loftier fare) then turn it into something new -- a comment on itself, the way we live, and/or issues in society. This makes Cathy fun -- and fun to read -- unless, of course, your self-image depends on advertising your aggressive avoidance of any printed works that arenít heavily footnoted and written in Middle English.
Underrated Dates For Geeky People
Go to a big, fabulous library and sit next to each other reading. Itís totally hot. Really. My boyfriend and I spent Saturday afternoon in the downtown LA Public Library, a majestic place. I wrote my column (or rather, started writing my column) and he researched 1930s ìOklahombresî -- a nifty name for outlaws in Oklahoma from that time -- plus other old-time bandits. The most interesting looking books I saw in his stack were Oklahombres, Particularly The Wilder Ones, by Evett Dumas Nix, as told to Gordon Hines, and The Bandit Kings -- From Jesse James to Pretty Boy Floyd, by Roger A. Bruns.
From the ìya learn something new every dayî file: Apparently, the U.S. Army experimented with camels (riding them, not slicing them up and putting them on lab slides) just before the Civil War. I donít think it ended well, but youíll have to read the book after my boyfriend returns it to know for sure: Noble Brutes, Camels On The American Frontier, by Eva Jolene Boyd.
Full disclosure: There were some serious scenic issues, most notably, the well-dressed guy with a salami-width, three-and-a-half foot dredlock sprouting out from behind each ear; the two, elasticked together into one disgusting, matted tail at butt-level. Dreddo kept strolling back and forth, back and forth, the entire time we were there -- despite the telepathic messages I directed his way, suggesting I was eminently capable of long-distance projectile vomiting.
Amy Sneaks Into The LA Times Again
Here's my letter to the LA Times Calendar Editor, printed in the August 3, 2003 Sunday Calendar section:
LETTERS
Of sex and forceContrary to the Sandy Banks column David Shaw quotes in "If the Accused Is Named, the Accuser Should Be Too" (July 27), rape is not a crime motivated by violence but a crime motivated by sex. Banks was just restating the same-old same-old put out there by Susan Brownmiller and others without lifting a brain cell, a book or a telephone to investigate that claim. There's actually a book filled with data showing that rape is motivated by sex, "A Natural History of Rape, the Biological Bases of Sexual Coercion" by biology professor Randy Thornhill and anthropology instructor Craig T. Palmer (MIT Press, 2000). After looking at mountains of data, they view rape as biologically based but not inevitable. Like me, they suggest that the victims can sometimes prevent rape by acting prudently and reasonably (say, by recognizing that going up to a hotel room with a famous basketball player probably won't result in a friendly game of checkers). Of course, this kind of thinking does run contrary to feminism's infantilization of women.
Amy Alkon
Santa Monica
Amy Alkon, the Advice Goddess, is a syndicated columnist in over 100 newspapers.
The Evolutionary Basis For Rape
Using scientific methodology and reason, Thornhill and Palmer show (in well-documented detail) that there's an evolutionary basis for rape; that rape is a sexual act -- most likely an evolutionary adaptation that originated as a way for men to spread their genes.
Thus, although rape can be violent, this doesn't mean a man's motivation to rape is violence. Thornhill and Palmer note that "rapists rarely engage in gratuitous violence, defined as expending energy beyond what is required to subdue or control the victim and inflicting injuries that reduce the victim's chance of surviving to become pregnant or that heighten the risk of eventual injury to the rapist from enraged relatives of the victim (all ultimate costs of rape)."
Thornhill and Palmer explain that there's a difference between "instrumental force, (the force actually needed to complete the rape, and possibly to influence the victim not to resist, not to call for help, and/or not to report the rape) and excessive force (which might be a motivating end in itself). Only excessive force is a possible indication of violent motivation. Use of forceful tactics to reach a desired experience does not imply that the tactics are goals in themselves (unless...one is willing to argue that a man's giving money to a prostitute in exchange for sex is evidence that the man's behavior is motivated by a desire to give away money). Here again the crucial distinction between goals and tactics is blurred when rape is referred to as an act of violence."
Thornhill and Palmer understand what they're up against -- years of ingrained feminist propaganda that "the patriarchy," violent TV shows, and nasty old American culture are to blame. "Debates about what causes rape have been evaluated not on the basis of logic and evidence," they observe, "But on the basis of how the different positions might influence people to behave." What the propaganda purveyers don't understand is key: It's the actual truth about why some men rape that will have the greatest influence on whether or not they do, and on whether or not women can avoid being raped (and feeling stigmatized if they are).
Highly Enjoyable Review Of A Highly Unenjoyable Movie
James Verniere writes in the Boston Herald, ìI can't be the only person wishing Affleck and Lopez would just skip the wedding and go straight to the divorce, thereby sparing the lives of thousands of innocent trees.î He continues with a helpful sidebar:
The five most appalling things about "Gigli."*Ben Affleck (Larry Gigli) says, "In every relationship, there is a bull and a cow," while attempting to "convert" Jennifer Lopez (Ricki) from a lesbian to a heterosexual.
*Affleck says, "I love my penis," while debating the virtues of male and female genitals with Lopez.
*Lopez entices Affleck to have sex with her by saying, "Gobble, gobble. It's turkey time."
*Lopez's hysterical dejected lesbian lover slashes her wrists, which, of course, is how all hysterical lesbians would behave.
*Kidnapped mentally retarded teenager Brian (Justin Bartha) does a spastic dance of joy.
The World Is Not Your Ashtray
Like me, Chris Woolson is sick of people turning the roads and highways into their own personal trash dump by tossing cigarette butts, food wrappers, and other crap from their cars. Here's an excerpt on the topic from one of my old columns:
"Like many of my friends, Iíve always been a minor revolutionary. When Iím not picking fights with drivers of environment-blackening battleship-sized SUVís (ìYour vehicle says a lot about you, and this one screams ëextremely small penisíî), Iím berating people who toss their cigarette butts on the ground: ìHey, loser...the world is not your ashtray!î
A man after my own little activist heart, Woolson's done something about the litter thang -- creating the site litterbutt.com, for drivers to report the license plates other drivers they see mucking up the planet. Do your part! Report a litterbutthead today!
Hopelessly Nostalgic For A Bob Hope Who Didnít Exist
Was fondly remembered "funny man" and "family man" Bob Hope either one of those things? He never was very funny during my lifetime. Christopher Hitchens is one of very few media voices telling the unfunny truth about Bob Hope. Well, part of it. The other night on CNNís Larry King Live, Bill Maher alluded to the rest of the untold truth -- how Hope's media-manufactured legendary status as one of America's great family men covered up his legendary status as one of Hollywoodís great ìdogs.î
Hereís a bit of Hitchens on Hope:
ìTo be paralyzingly, painfully, hopelessly unfunny is not a particular defect or shortcoming in, say, a cable repair man or a Supreme Court justice or a Navy Seal. These jobs can be performed humorlessly with no loss of efficiency or impact. But to be paralyzingly, painfully, hopelessly unfunny is a serious drawback, even lapse, in a comedian. And the late Bob Hope devoted a fantastically successful and well-remunerated lifetime to showing that a truly unfunny man can make it as a comic. There is a laugh here, but it is on us.Give a man a reputation as an early riser, said Mark Twain, and that man can thereafter sleep until noon. Quick, thenówhat is your favorite Bob Hope gag? It wouldn't take you long if I challenged you on Milton Berle, or Woody Allen, or John Cleese, or even (for the older customers) Lenny Bruce or Mort Sahl. By this time tomorrow, I bet you haven't come up with a real joke for which Hope could take credit.î
Hereís one of the rare mentions in print of Hopeís infidelities:
"Though untrained in acting, Barbara Payton nabbed a starletís contract with Universal Studios in late 1948 and did a few bit parts, but the studio dropped her the following summer after word got around that she was having an affair with married man Bob Hope. She had met Hope in March 1949 at a hotel party in Houston, becoming something of a Hope groupie by following him around the country for several weeks as he made personal appearances. Upon their return to Hollywood, the actor allegedly set her up in a little love-nest on Cheremoya Avenue, for which he promptly purchased all the necessary furnishings, including, in the words of one tabloid, "...a king-size double bed that was the set for many rollicking good times." The coupleís sex fling, however, would last just six months ó ending abruptly when Payton began pressuring him for large amounts of money to help cover her living expenses. Hopeís advisors reportedly paid her off with a handsome sum ó with the stipulation that she keep quiet and disappear."
The Case For "Airing Dirty Laundry"
Syndicated columnist Cathy Seipp peers into the San Francisco dog mauling case and the Kobe case and comes up where I do -- concluding that rape victimsí identities shouldnít be kept out of the media:
ì...yes, rape is violating and dehumanizing - but no more so (and probably less) than being torn apart like a rabbit caught by hounds. To suggest otherwise buys into the notion that sexual assault - alone among all kinds of assault - somehow contaminates its victim. The media has no business indulging this kind of thinking.î
The Same Old New Math
Even U.S. Tax Court nominees canít figure out out their tax bill. The Senate Finance Committee made Bush Tax Court nominee Glen Bower, formerly a director of the Illinois Department of Revenue, file amended returns for 1999, 2000 and 2001 "to eliminate improper deductions for entertainment, gifts and meals." According to an AP story by Mary Dalrymple, it seems Bower didnít even realize his deductions were improper until the senators reviewing his nomination pointed it out to him. "The committee found questionable deductions for unreimbursed employee expenses during its initial inspection early this year. Bower prepared amended returns and submitted those to the committee, and the panel found more improper deductions."
That didnít stop Senate Finance Committee Chairman Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) from blowing hot air on Bowerís behalf:
"It is rare we get the benefit of someone who has made tax law, administered tax law and judged tax cases to serve on the Tax Court -- certainly good qualifications."(He forgot "and almost succeeded at tax evasion." Donít these guys have a crumb of shame?)
Going on the (perhaps generous) assumption that Bower isnít an unrepentant sleazebag, itís apparent that the tax code is so difficult that even the tax experts canít figure out what they can and canít deduct. One more reason why we should have sales tax instead of income tax.